Title: Nice bit of scenery Pairingsish: Sharpe/McAllister/Gold/Nixon Rating: G Length: 1369 words Status: sequel of sorts to my 2004 story Sain but stands alone ok Summary: McAllister and Gold go bird watching March 2004 ******************************************************* Nice bit of scenery by Viv Martella's Ghost Flies, dust, humidity, driving on the wrong side of the road, bad food, village after boring village, yet another quaint bloody church, endless fascinating (not) historical stories of this war or that invasion, not to mention the foreigners... And with each footstep back from this, their seventeen millionth scenic walk, Debbie regrets even more that she agreed to come on this holiday. She had been opposed to the idea from the start - two weeks touring a third world country with another couple had seemed like hell on legs as it was, but to top it off it had to be Samantha bloody Nixon, didn't it? It took days of coaxing by Eva for her to finally agree. Days of guilt tripping, more like. Anyway, here she is, and there isn't a helluva lot she can do about it now except get through it. The evenings have been okay. Gina's in good form, drinking, joking, making them all laugh. And she gets Eva to herself after the evening's activities, in whatever scabby hotel they've booked for the night, and that at least takes her mind off the tedious day to follow. Spain is supposed to be romantic, or picturesque, or something. She can't remember exactly what it's supposed to be, but whatever it is, clearly everyone lied. It is filthy and sad and no one speaks English and if she has to take one more photo of a building by a famous artist she'll probably jump off it. Now they've stopped again for Sam to get out her bird book and identify some small brown blob in what passes for a tree around here. It wouldn't be so bad except Eva keeps pointing out new birds to her, and acting like she's interested. They have heated discussions about the colour of eye rings and the shape of beaks. Fascinating stuff. It could be worse though. Sam spent the first day of the trip whining about how she'd forgotten her plant book. Debbie sits down on a rock and swigs her water bottle. She casts her eye over the vista. What look to her like barren hillsides are, she is reliably informed by the interpretive trail guide, highly significant endangered heathlands. She supposes she should be impressed. "There's more to the scenery than just landscape, you know." It's Gina, sitting down next to her and coolly exhaling a lungful of smoke through pursed lips. She's flushed with sunburn too, like Debbie, despite drenching herself in sunscreen every morning. Debbie offers her the bottle and Gina waves it away. "Don't tell me," says Debbie. "You've spotted a mating pair of lesser red-rumped shags halfway down the hill and we all need to trudge over and watch them do absolutely sod all for three hours straight." "I think you know me better than that." Gina produces a metal flask from her rucksack and offers it to Debbie. Debbie smiles and refuses. "So? What can you possibly tell me that will make me more fascinated by this hill than I already am?" "The thing is, Debbie," says Gina, putting away the flask after taking a decent slug, "that you didn't come on this trip for the hill, or the churches, or in fact for any of the sights at all, did you? In fact, I'm guessing you wouldn't have come at all if Eva hadn't begged you. Am I right?" Debbie nods. "So it would be true to say that the only attraction you travelled seven hundred miles to enjoy was that which can be found more or less in the vicinity of your girlfriend's knickers." Debbie does not respond right away, trying to decide whether or not to be affronted. Gina continues. "If you're anything like me, that is." Debbie looks at her and makes a pouty smile. "As I thought," says Gina, fanning herself with her hat. "And your point is?" "And my point is that I figure while I'm here and we're all wearing very little other than more-than-a-tad-butch hiking boots, I might as well enjoy the view." Sam and Eva are standing with their backs to them a good distance away, Eva looking through binoculars at something and Sam frantically flicking through the pages of her book. "I always find," observes Gina, drawing on her fag, "that there's not a lot in the world easier on the eye than a girly girl in shorts." This is a side to the inspector that Debbie never expected to see. It is a very welcome turn of events indeed. After scrutinising her face for a moment, she follows Gina's line of sight back to the girls. Sam, in a no doubt stylish pair of navy shorts and skimpy white t-shirt, shifts her weight from one hip to the other. The enticing movement of flesh held tight within the shorts is a side of the DI that Debbie never expected to see either. "You could well be right," she says to Gina. Eva, who is wearing green gardener's work shorts and a blue lorry driver's singlet, crouches down into a squat at that moment to better see something on the ground that has taken her interest. "She's got nice legs, int she?" muses Gina quietly. "Yeah," agrees Debbie, nodding thoughtfully. "Yes, she has." Sam bends over to look at what Eva has found. Debbie hears Gina release a very subtle noise of approval. It amuses Debbie no end. She's beginning to enjoy this holiday. "Mmm," she agrees, getting into the spirit of things. "Not bad at all." They sit quietly for a moment admiring the view, when Gina says, "They look good together, don't they?" "What?" scoffs Debbie. "Or hasn't she told you about that?" Gina glances at Debbie knowingly. "About what?" "Their little... entanglement." "No," says Debbie, "she hasn't. What do you mean, exactly?" Gina stubs out her butt and tosses it into the shrubbery. "After Joanna was found. At the hospital that day." Debbie thinks for a moment, then her mouth gapes indignantly and she puts her hands on her hips. "What, while you and I were driving back to the nick?" Lighting up again, Gina nods. "Oh, don't worry, though. They didn't... you know. Just got their kit off at Eva's and had a bit of a snog. No sex." Debbie's upper lip curls in disgust, and some confusion. For a moment she can't decide what to say. Finally she asks "Why not?" with something of a sneer. "Not everything's about sex, Gina," simpers Gina in her best imitation of Sam's voice, and they both laugh. "Pathetic," murmurs Debbie. She looks over at the girls again. Sam helps Eva to her feet with a strong arm. Eva brushes the dust from her backside. "D'you think they still want to?" "Who can say?" Debbie looks at Gina, her lopsided thoughtful frowny pout on and her eyes glinting. "Does it worry you?" Gina shrugs. "You?" "Don't know," muses Debbie. Sam consults her Lonely Planet guide and confers with Eva about something therein. Their arms and upper bodies touch and brush against each other comfortably, unconsciously. Their easy familiarity makes Debbie uneasy, now that she's aware of it. "Actually," she says contemptuously, "they deserve each other." Gina nods. "Mm," is all she says. "Aye aye," says Sam like a cheerful christian girl scout when she and Eva return to Debbie's rock. Debbie and Gina do not dignify her with a response. "Seen anything interesting?" asks Eva more civilly, swigging from Debbie's water bottle. "Birds," says Gina. "Scenery," says Debbie at the same time. "I'll bet," mutters Sam. Flies. Dust. Humidity. Eva wants someone else. Debbie doesn't have to stay, has a million reasons to go. Or just one. Eva seems to sense it and sits down beside her. "You know," she begins quietly. "This heathland don't look like much. It's not some majestic forest or magnificent waterfall. Don't make it worthless, though. It's still something. It matters." She's looking at Debbie. There's warmth in her eyes. She reaches out to take Debbie's hand without even thinking about it. For the seventeen millionth time, Debbie is amazed by her. "Comin'?" Eva gestures at the path. And Debbie can't do other than nod and follow. The End