Unconditional
By Sioux

Fandom :     The Bill
Pairing :    Ashton/Gilmore
Rating :     NC17
Archive :    SunHill Irregulars, anyone else please ask.
Feedback :   Gratefully received at Sioux_s@hotmail.com
Spoliers :   Possible for future episodes of The Bill
Disclaimer : Don't own the characters and not making a penny off them!


Ashton gripped the carrier bag more firmly and tried to work
up the courage to get out of the car.  Sergeant Gilmore had
been discharged from hospital two days ago and was due back
at work in two more days if his health continued to improve.
He'd lost a lot of blood when a couple of hoodlums had
decided that coppers were perfect targets for their extra
sharpened knives.  The cut on his ankle hadn't looked that
serious until it started pouring blood.  Klein had stopped the
bleeding with pressure until the ambulance had arrived whilst
Young and Ashton had managed to arrest the pair.  Now here
he was, bringing gifts to a man he knew fancied him like mad
and who he had tried his best to hurt.  He did like Gilmore.
Alright, to be honest he did more than like Gilmore, he wanted
to get into the man's pants more than anything else, despite the
fact he was still sexually involved with Kerry Young.
Gilmore fascinated him in a way that Kerry didn't.  He could
drown in those dark eyes and he already knew just how
kissably soft his lips were.  Perhaps that was all this attraction
was.  If he had sex with Gilmore, his curiosity would be
satisfied and he would be OK.  He could go back to Kerry
with a light heart and never have to wonder what he might be
missing.

He'd never, ever thought he might be gay, but when he'd met
Gilmore he'd been conscious of a frisson between them, a
feeling of always wanting the other man's approval.  For a
while he'd put it down to the fact Gilmore was his superior
officer but deep down he knew it was more than that.
Especially after he'd been called to a 'domestic' and found
Craig and his now ex-boyfriend arguing.  He'd really been
uncomfortable when Gilmore had tried to thank him for his
discretion on the domestic incident.  Or was it more
uncomfortable because he didn't want Gilmore grateful, he
wanted him needy.  Needy for him, to be specific.  Then when
he had got him like that he'd run straight into the arms of
Kerry Young.  Maybe he just didn't know what he wanted at
all.  After the unpleasant way he'd treated Gilmore he wouldn't
be surprised if the man kicked him off his doorstep.  As for his
intention to seduce him, well, he wasn't making any promises
about lasting relationships.  He just wanted to satisfy his
curiosity and, hopefully, put an end to his fascination with the
older man.  Ashton had done some research, mainly via the
internet, and knew anal sex was likely to hurt the first few
times, especially if the dominant partner was inexperienced.
Craig Gilmore was sexually experienced and Ashton knew, in
some indefinable way, that Craig would never intentionally
hurt him.  One part of his mind berated him for his callous use
of Craig's attachment, whilst another part felt justified in using
him like that.  They would both get what they wanted.  Hell!
Gilmore might not want to go near him again after the first
time.  It wasn't as if he was likely to be the best lay Gilmore
had ever had.

 Luke checked the contents of his jacket pocket for the
umpteenth time.  A small tube of expensive, flavoured
lubricant and half a dozen 'Extra Safe' durex tumbled around
his questing fingers.  He tried to reason with his conscience by
thinking all he was attempting to do was find out what he
wanted to know and then walk away to get on with the rest of
his life with his curiosity satisfied.  What was wrong with
that?

Taking a deep breath Luke got out of the car and walked
across to Gilmore's house.  He knocked and waited, until
Gilmore had opened the door.

"Luke?"

"Hi Craig.  I was just passing and thought I'd drop in and see
how you were doing!"

To say Gilmore looked surprised would be an understatement,
especially in the light of some of their previous conversations.

"That was kind of you, Luke.  I'm fine," Gilmore replied,
sounding very uncertain.  He waited curiously.

"That's good.  Yeah, umm that's good. Umm.  I brought you
this as well," Ashton mumbled, pressing the carrier bag
covered bottle at him.

"Oh!  That was nice of you.  Thank you."

Gilmore took the bag off and saw a very decent bottle of red
wine.  "This is nice.  Thank you very much!" he replied, quite
flattered.

"I don't really know much about wines.  The lady in the shop
helped me to pick it out," Ashton replied, honestly.

Gilmore smiled.  He really had gone to some trouble to get
him a present.

"Do you like drinking wine?" Gilmore asked.

"Well, yeah, sometimes."

"Come in then.  You can help me drink it."

A huge smile graced Ashton's face as he followed Gilmore's
limping figure into the house.



Craig didn't bother switching on the main light, just made do
with the light from the cooker hood while he opened the
bottle, took out two nice wine glasses from a cupboard in his
kitchen and filled them with the ruby liquid.  Luke was
hovering behind him uncertainly.  He passed a glass across to
Luke and took a sniff then a sip from his own glass.  The
flavour was as wonderful as the bouquet had promised.

"Is it OK?" Luke asked anxiously.

"It's very nice Luke, thank you," Gilmore replied sincerely
watching the younger man over the top of his glass.

Even in the fairly dim light he could see Ashton was very
nervous and agitated, that much was obvious.  He wondered
what was really behind the gift and the visit.  After Luke had
kissed him in his office then told him he had been trying to
make a fool out of him, they hadn't exactly enjoyed the closest
of relationships.  He leaned back against the sink, taking some
of the strain from his ankle, while he watched Luke's eyes
wander all over the small kitchen.

"Do you want to go through?" Craig suggested.  His ankle was
aching and he wanted to sit down in comfort.

"Pardon?" Luke stammered.

"Do you want to go through to the lounge and sit down?"
Craig repeated slowly and helpfully.  The long silence was
becoming uncomfortable.  At least the telly was on in the
other room and that would alleviate some of the tense quietude
until he could either find out what Luke really wanted or he
could encourage him to leave.

Craig levered himself away from the sink but misjudged how
much his ankle was prepared to take.  It let him down
suddenly and he fell against the kitchen table.  Wine slopped
out of his glass across the wood as he fought to right himself.
A pair of strong arms steadied him, getting him upright again.

"Must be stronger than I thought," Craig said, laughing then
saw how close Ashton was standing.  He took a step
backwards and came up against the edge of the sink.  Ashton
followed his every move.  Suddenly Craig was feeling a little
trapped.  Luke's brown eyes looked huge in the dim light and
as they were less than a few inches away from his own he had
perfect visibility on his dilated pupils too.  Luke stroked the
side of Craig's face gently, feeling the slight stubble under his
palm.  He moved in, intending to kiss Gilmore but Gilmore
turned his head away so Luke ended up kissing his cheek
instead of his lips.

"Luke! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Gilmore
asked sharply.

Ashton was kissing his cheek and moving down to his neck,
pushing the collar of his grey shirt out of the way.  A
distinctive clink as Ashton set his wineglass down on the
draining board warned Gilmore that he meant business.  Then
he leant in close, pressing his body hard against Craig, whilst
relieving Craig of his glass.  Craig's eyes widened as he felt
the stiffness press against his own groin.

"Luke?"

"I want you," Luke murmured diving in to kiss him again.
This time Craig was so surprised he didn't read his intention.
Ashton kissed him hard with all the fervour at his command.
Despite his reservations, for a few seconds Craig responded,
happily sucking on the wet, demanding invader in his mouth.
A soft moan escaped from Ashton.  Craig pushed the younger
man back and held him angrily against the kitchen table.

"What is this, Luke?  Some new way to make a fool out of
me?"

"No!"

"Well what are you playing at?  You've already made it crystal
clear you were taking the mick last time your tried this trick.
So what is it this time?  See if you can make the queer believe
you twice in a row?"

"No!  It's not like that, I swear."

"You swear?  Does Kerry know you’re here? Perhaps I should
just ring her and tell her."

"We're not together any more," Luke burst out, wondering at
the same time where the ready lie had come from.  As far as
Kerry was concerned they were very much together.

"When did this happen?" Gilmore asked suspiciously.

"A couple of days ago.  We decided to be just friends."

"You decided to just be friends with the heroine of Wells
Road?  The woman whom you announced to Inspector Gold
you were in love with?"

Said like that, it didn't seem very likely.  He'd sung Kerry's
praises from the rooftops when she'd brought the incident in
Wells Road to a bloodless conclusion, despite his interference.

"Well?" Craig asked.

"What do you want me to say?  She doesn't want a steady
relationship."

Luke mentally winced at the lie.  Kerry was all for a steady
relationship.

So you've been without for a couple of days and you thought
you'd try the other side of the fence.  See what you might be
missing."

Luke flinched.  That was too near the truth.

"Well, I'm not interested in bedding Kerry Young's leftovers
and I don't think you are really interested in me.  I think you'd
better take your wine and leave," Gilmore continued.

Luke quickly took Gilmore's hand and pressed to his groin.

"Does that feel like I'm not interested?" he asked softly,
noticing for the first time how out of breath they both
sounded.

The heat from the other man's palm penetrated his trousers and
felt wonderful.  Unconsciously Luke pushed his erection
harder against Craig's hand.

"Oh Craig!" he muttered, his eyes flickering closed as that
talented hand started to rub him through his denims.

He leaned in again tracing a pathway of butterfly kisses along
Craig's neck up to his jaw, whilst his hands were very busy
undoing the buttons on his shirt.  He pushed the material aside
to reveal a lightly furred chest. Licking and kissing across the
surface until he encountered a nipple.  He swirled his tongued
around the nub, and sucked, raising the flesh proud, then he bit
down sharply, immediately soothing it again with his lips and
tongue.  His busy hands moved to the buttons of Craig's jeans,
making short work of the task and pushing down jeans and
underwear in one, taking care not to crush his cock.  He
wrapped his fist around the engorging flesh, gently
masturbating him.  The thought that this was the first time he
had ever touched another man's erection crossed his mind.
Luke opened his eyes taking in the sight in front of him.
Craig's eyes were closed, his neck stretched and chest heaving.
The patch of dark hair between his nipples faded to an arrow
line of hair down his belly to his groin to thicken into a normal
pelt, like any other man.  His cock held loosely in Luke's hand
felt burning hot and hard.  A dusky rose velvet rod stretched
over steel.  Luke momentarily let go of his prize.  He quickly
shrugged out of his jacket, then his polo shirt, lastly
unbuttoning and pushing down his jeans and briefs and
kicking them off, along with his shoes.   He reached out again
for Craig, dropping to his knees to worship.  A faint tang of
sweat prickled his nose, along with a fruity scent of soap.  He
nuzzled the heated erection and rubbed his cheek along its
length.  Tentatively he put his lips to the end and kissed him
there, moving his foreskin back and taking a swipe at the drop
of precum forming.  Salty and at last a taste of the man
himself.  Wanting to identify the taste Luke took him into his
mouth, sucking strongly wanting more of the elusive flavour.
A cry from above reached his ears before he was hauled to his
feet and then pushed back across the kitchen table.  Desperate
lips fastened on to his, kissing him with ardour and strength.
Fingers pinched and rolled his nipples making him arch his
back into the rough touch.  Greedily he sucked on the tongue
which thrust into his mouth. Then the wonderful mouth left his
and was attaching itself to one of his reddened sensitive
nipples.  Craig suckled at him hard, his lower body moving
rhythmically, trapping both their erections between them.
Blindly Luke thrust up against both sets of stimulation, the
sweat springing up on his skin allowing him to slide against
Craig.  Craig moved across and applied his expert attention to
his other nipple, taking Luke to a higher plane of pleasure.
Craig could feel himself climbing higher and higher but at the
same time wanting to slow down and prolong this as much as
possible.  Craig kissed him again hard then abruptly moved
down his body to engulf his cock.  The sudden wet warmth
was almost too much for Luke. His hips left the table top as
Craig suckled as strongly on his throbbing cock as he had on
his nipples.  Luke yelled inarticulately, his body writhing in
extreme delight.

"Craig!  Oh god Craig! Craig! I'm going to come, I'm going to
come."

Craig sucked him hard again, his head bobbing as he
efficiently brought Luke to the bring of orgasm and kept him
there, pressing against a spot on his perineum to delay him
coming.  Luke almost screamed. With his heart thundering
against his ribs and his brain on fire Luke wasn't sure he was
going to survive this king of blowjobs he was getting.  He
couldn't think or speak, he could only moan his appreciation
as Craig stopped him twice more when he was on the verge.
A hand wiped away the sweat pouring down his face as a
husky voice whispered in his ear.

"Do you want to come?"

He nodded breathlessly.

"Do you want to come in my hand or my mouth?"

Luke groaned. He expected him to speak?

"Luke, sit up a bit," the insidious voice whispered.

Beyond questioning anything Luke hauled his upper body up
and leaned back on his elbows, taking in the amazing sight of
Craig's wonderfully shaped lips moving smoothly down over
the head of his cock, his dark brown eyes closing in apparent
ecstasy.  That was all it took to send him over the edge.  He
heard himself crying out as his orgasm reduced him to a
quivering, mindless mass.  A little later he opened his eyes, his
breathing beginning to return to normal, to find Craig leaning
over him, observing him, almost clinically.  He smiled up at
him and put a hand to the back of his neck, lazily pulling him
nearer so he could kiss him.  Craig tasted a little different but
somehow familiar then he realised he was tasting himself in
the other man's mouth.  He moaned, surprised at how erotic he
found that thought.  Craig pulled back to look at him.

"You let me come in your mouth," Luke said dreamily.

Craig nodded.  "You seemed to enjoy it," he remarked, dryly.

Luke traced the shaped of his swollen lips with the tips of his
fingers.

"That was amazing!" he said reverently before going back to
kissing Craig.

A hardness digging into his thigh and the movement of Craig's
hand brought another idea to mind.  He reached down to stop
Craig touching himself.

"No, don't"

"Luke!" Craig snapped, pushed beyond endurance.

"Fuck me!" he demanded.

"What?"

"Fuck me, come inside me."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not going to last long enough!"

Luke struggled up, pushing Craig back against the cold metal
of the sink.  He flinched as it touched the flesh of his back.
Luke was on his knees in front of him, licking him from root
to crown, blowing a stream of cool air along the wet trail.
Stretching his lips he took in as much as he could, holding
Craig's hips in place, sucking hard enough to hollow his
cheeks.  Craig rested his hands on Luke's shoulders watching
the younger man's dark head moving above his groin.  He was
obviously inexperienced at giving head but what he lacked in
technique he more than made up for in enthusiasm.  The
display alone was instrumental in bringing him to his own
climax.  He tried to pull Luke away but he wouldn't be moved.
From far away he watched himself spasm and almost sob his
pleasure.

Craig came back to something approaching normality to find
he was being held tightly and a warm head was resting against
his shoulder.  Both of them were still shaking a little.  When
he felt movement Luke looked up into his face and smiled.  He
looked rumpled, sweaty, red faced and well fucked.  In short
he looked wonderful to Craig.  He smiled back as Luke tried
to move impossibly closer to him.  A twitch against his leg
caught his notice.

"I don't believe you!" he whispered incredulously.

"Your fault," Luke murmured against his lips.

"How so?" Craig asked when he finished kissing him.

"You looked fantastic when you came.  I wanted you again."

Craig smiled as he said.

"Well, you’re going to have to wait.  I'm not in my twenties, I
take a bit longer."

Luke smiled as he nuzzled his neck.

"Will you come inside me this time?"

"I thought I just did," Craig replied, his eyes closed not really
thinking about what he'd just been asked, then the penny
dropped and his eyes opened wide.

"Are you sure?"

Luke looked into his eyes and nodded.

"You've never done this before, are you certain you know
what you're asking?"

He nodded again and swallowed hard.

"Well first of all, we're going to do this in bed! My ankle isn't
going to stand another knee trembler."

Luke laughed out loud.

"You take the wine up.  It's first door on your right at the top
of the stairs.  I'll be there in a minute," Craig said briskly

They pulled on their underwear and jeans.  While Luke
padded off upstairs with both glasses and the bottle, Craig
went to lock up and switch the television off.  He checked the
front door, switched off the lights in the lounge and went back
through to the kitchen to check the back door.  He noticed
Luke's jacket and shirt on the floor and picked them up.  As he
did so something fell out of his jacket pocket onto the kitchen
floor.  Craig bent to pick up the familiar little packet.  Guiltily
looking around he went through the jacket pockets pulling out
the lube and the rest of the condoms.  Luke had arrived here
very prepared for sex by the look of this little lot.
Thoughtfully Craig turned off the light and made his way
upstairs.  Luke had made himself at home and was lying in his
bed, sipping at the wine.  Craig checked at the threshold.  The
bedside light shone softly on his skin.  He looked absurdly
young and so very desirable.

"Craig, what's wrong?" Luke asked, seeing the expression on
his face.

"I picked up your jacket and something fell out of the pocket."
He pressed the wrapped condom into Luke's hand.  "You came
here intending to have sex, didn't you?"

Luke dropped his eyes and nodded.

"I don't understand you.  You could have had sex with me
ages ago.  After you kissed me in my office, but you ran to
Kerry Young's bed instead.  So why are you here now?
Because you split up?"

"No, not because we split up.  Back then, when I…when I
kissed you.  I was frightened to admit it, even to myself."

"Admit what?"

"That I fancied my male sergeant.  I've never looked at another
bloke like that before.  I didn't know what to think.  So I went
for what I knew, a woman," he paused in his impassioned
outburst before asking quietly. "Do you want me to go?"

"Do you want to go?"

"No."

"That's alright then," Craig said with a smile and a kiss.
"Don't be afraid of being what you are Luke," he said, quickly
stripping off his jeans and sliding under the duvet with him.

Luke immediately went into his arms.  Craig wrapped him in a
warm, accepting hug.

"How old were you when you knew you were gay?"

"About fourteen, I suppose."

"You figured it out a bit quicker than me!" Luke said ruefully.

"You're not gay, Luke."

"What?" Luke asked, raising his head to look into his eyes.
"We've just had sex on your kitchen table and now I'm in bed
with you, what do you call that if not gay?"

"You're bisexual.  You fancy women as well," he said gently,
stroking Luke's hair.

"Haven't you ever looked at a woman?"

"Not like that.  I like women, just not sexually."

Luke considered the reply for a moment, before planting a
lingering kiss on Craig's chest.  He rolled onto his back,
pulling Craig over him like a human blanket.  The hot weight
felt very right somehow, as if this is what he'd been missing
all his life.  His lips fastened onto Craig's, kissing, sucking and
licking gently, slowly building the passion.

After a few minutes Craig turned them on their sides, his
hands beginning a slow and thorough exploration of his new
lover's body.  He stroked Luke's back, soothingly, each time
moving nearer to his peachy bum.  He kneaded the taut globes,
filling his hands with smooth flesh, driving Luke into a frenzy
of vicious, nipping kisses.  Craig pulled Luke's thigh across
his hip, stroking along the back of his thigh and onto his
buttock from the other direction.  Immediately he felt a shiver
go through him, leaving him tense where before he'd been
pleasantly relaxed.  Craig, realising he had a very nervous
virgin on his hands, moved his stroking to the muscles along
his shoulders finding he was almost hunched with tension here
too.  It crossed his mind to leave full intercourse for another
time but when he pulled back to look into Luke's eyes, all he
saw was a glazed look of lust about him.

"How do you want me?" Luke asked hoarsely.

'Anyway I can have you,' a voice in Craig's mind answered.

"Luke, this isn't a good idea.  You're so tense this is going to
hurt and I don't want to hurt you."

Luke's eyes lost a lot of their glaze.

"You don't really want me, do you?"

"Of course I do.  But it's going to hurt."

"I want this.  I want to feel you inside me."

Craig sighed and leant his head against Luke's forehead before
he said softly,

"Turn over then."

Luke turned onto his stomach, then pulled a pillow under his
face to lean on.  Craig threw the duvet back and rummaged in
the drawer of the bedside table.  Luke lifted his head up.
Three or four dildos rattled about in the drawer, sharing space
with wrapped packets of condoms, tubes and small bottles.
He took out two of the bottles and placed them next to the lube
Luke had brought with him.  Luke put his head back down and
closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for penetration.
He heard the top of a bottle being unscrewed then Craig
straddled his thighs.  He got a shock when a stream of cool
liquid dribbled across his shoulders and down his spine then
he felt a warm hand spreading the liquid evenly.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it feel like I'm doing?" Craig asked, his Welsh
accent very pronounced.

He put his weight behind massaging along Luke's tense
shoulders and down his back.  Luke groaned as the knots were
loosed until his muscles felt open and flowing.

"Oh that's good!"

Craig didn't say a word, concentrating on his task.  He
replenished the oil and moved lower down, digging into the
small of his back, hips and buttocks.  A thin stream of oil
trickled into the cleft and then down over his balls, tickling
him.  He laughed quietly.

"That feels odd," Luke said.

"Mmm."

Craig ran his index finger along the back of his scrotum
tracing the path of the oil in reverse.  He let his fingertip linger
over the puckered anus then moved away.  Luke didn't even
twitch.  A calculating look entered Craig's eyes as he bent over
and applied the tip of his tongue to the rosy pucker, entering
the channel behind.  A strangled gasp sounded from the body
underneath him as Luke's upper body rose from the bed in
utter surprised pleasure.  Craig leisurely continued his
progress, pointing his tongue and thrusting delicately inside,
then going back to long swipes with the flat of his tongue.

"'Bet no-one told you about that!" he said silkily a few minutes
later.

Luke, gasping like a stranded boneless fish, could only shake
his head.

Gently Craig worked the tip of a finger inside, patiently
working the digit back and forth until he could work a second
one in beside the first.  Cautiously he pushed in deeper,
watching for any sign of pain.  A frown crossed Luke's face
but that was all.  As he withdrew, he curled his fingers to
brush along the lump of Luke's prostrate gland.  He was
rewarded with another sharp gasp of unexpected pleasure.

"Ahh, do that again!" Luke demanded.

Craig smiled, well satisfied, as he worked more lube in and
added another finger, making sure he kept hitting the pleasure
button inside.  When the litany of his name grew in volume
Craig judged his bedmate was more than ready for the next
step.  Carefully he rolled on a condom then lay down at the
side of Luke, pulling the other man onto his side so he was
facing his back.  He pushed Luke's top leg forward, fitting his
own leg directly behind.  Deftly he guided his cock into his
prepared hole, pushing in slowly, the muscles opening and
then gripping him like a tight, hot fist.  They both groaned at
the sensation.  Craig had to stop a minute before he lost it
completely and began thrusting hard.  He held Luke's hip so
he couldn't move either.

"You OK?" he whispered.

Luke nodded, way beyond speech.

Craig withdrew and then pushed further in, then pulled back
again, each time going deeper and deeper until Luke had all of
him.  He stopped to regain some measure of his control trying
to think of anything but being deeply embedded in the
beautiful body in front of him.  Carefully he manoeuvred his
body, changing the angle so his cockhead would hit the right
spot inside.  Experimentally he gave a short thrust.  Luke
didn't make a sound.  Craig moved around a little more and
did it again, then again.  The fourth attempt was greeted with a
cry.  Bingo!  Craig carried on hitting that little spot, the cries
becoming more breathless and the litany of "Oh God, oh god,"
changing to 'Don't stop, don't stop, oh please don't stop."
Luke's voice nearly sobbing out each phrase and his hips
pushing back hard to meet his thrusting from behind which
made Craig's self-possession very problematic indeed.
Reaching around he took hold of Luke's cock, pulling back his
foreskin, swirling his thumb across the slit and then roughly
pumping him in time with his pistoning hips.  Luke's hand
wrapped around his, increasing the pressure until with a long
drawn out yell he came, spilling his seed over their joined
hands.  The intense grip of his internal muscles squeezing
Craig unmercifully and tearing a mind numbing orgasm from
him seconds later. They lay panting in the same position for a
few minutes until Craig shifted slightly, his softened organ
slipping from Luke's body.  He took the used condom off and
dropped it over the side of the bed and went back to holding
Luke's totally sated body against his.

"You alright?" he whispered.

Making a supreme effort Luke turned in his arms, resting his
head against the hollow of his shoulder and moulding the rest
of his body to Craig's side, pushing a thigh between his thighs.

"More than alright," he whispered.

Craig held him close, his heart full of gratitude to whichever
deity had granted this wish.  They lay together like that for a
long time, neither speaking, until the sweat had dried on their
bodies and they were getting cold. Craig shifted around and
pulled the duvet around them both.  Luke snuggled in again to
his side, his breathing gradually evening out and becoming
deeper.



Luke woke first throwing back the duvet feeling contented and
mellow but far too hot.  Then he remembered whose bed he
was in.  Turning his head slightly he looked at the sleeping
face on the pillow beside him.  Craig's normally neat hair was
sticking up in all directions, dark stubble decorating his face
added to the rough, tough appearance but Luke knew better.
He'd expected Craig to know what he was doing with regard
to gay sex but he hadn't expected the tenderness, respect and
consideration he'd been shown.  He'd assumed male sex would
be a little rough and perhaps lacking the social niceties but he
was wrong, at least here.  He felt cherished, special and
….loved?  The realisation hit him like a bolt from the blue.
He hadn't had sex last night, Craig Gilmore had made love to
him and he'd enjoyed every second.  Astonished he lay down
again as close to the other man as he could, a rather alien
emotion filling his heart.  It would be so easy to fall in love
with this man.



Several hours later the sound of a shower woke Luke for the
second time.  He was alone in the bed only the indentation on
the pillow showing where another head had been.  He turned
onto his back and stretched luxuriously.  Not even a slight
tinge of pain in his lower back and thighs could spoil his
feeling of satisfaction.  The shower stopped.  A few minutes
later Craig emerged freshly shaven and a little damp, rubbing
his hair on a towel.  The gash across his ankle looked red, the
skin held together with steri-strips.

"Morning," he greeted Luke, with a half smile.

"Morning," Luke smiled at him holding out his hand.

Craig limped over and sat on the side of the bed taking his
hand as Luke sat up to kiss him softly.

"Come back to bed," Luke whispered in between long slow
kisses.

"Not a good idea, at least for you."

An eon later Luke asked,

"Why?"

"You're due on parade in an hour."

"Mmmph," was the only reply, Luke being far too preoccupied
taking advantage of Craig's talented lips, before the meaning
filtered in to his brain.

"What? An hour?"

Craig nodded, grinning at him.

"Shit!"

He got out of the way as Luke tried to extract himself from the
folds of the duvet at top speed.  He set off towards the
bathroom at a run then remembered his manners.

"Can I use the ….?"

"Fresh towels are in the airing cupboard."

"Thanks."

Then he was back on his knees taking a last few passionate
kisses.

"Go!" Craig ordered.  "I'll make you some tea and toast,"

"Thanks," Luke said, making no attempt to move or to stop
bestowing kisses.

"Move!" Craig said, getting out of the way of the lovely
distraction.

"In a minute," Luke replied, his mind certainly not on work.

"Now," he replied sternly, swatting him on the behind to get
him out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.  Luke went,
grinning all over his face when he caught Craig tracking his
progress into the other room with hungry eyes.

Twenty minutes later, freshly showered and fed Luke was
preparing to leave.  Craig showed him to the door.  Before
opening the door Luke turned around and looked up at him
almost shyly.

"Erm, I was wondering…"

"Wondering what?" Craig prompted.

"Can I see you again?" he got out finally.

"You see me every day at work" Craig reminded him.

"I meant socially."
"Socially as in bed or socially as in a drink or dinner
somewhere?"

"Both!"

Craig laughed seeing the earnest expression on Luke's face.

"I think I'd be most disappointed if I didn't see you again –
socially that is," Craig replied, seriously.

Luke's smile almost split his face in two.

"Tonight?"

"OK.  Tonight.  Come round after your shift and I'll make us
some supper," Craig agreed.

Luke answered enthusiastically with his lips against Craig's.
Laughingly Craig fought him off and pushed him out of the
front door and off to work.



That was the beginning of almost seven weeks of a mad
passionate affair.  Luke couldn't seem to keep his hands off
Craig, even at Sun Hill and four nights out of seven found him
in Craig's bed.  They made love as often as physically
possible.  A couple of times Luke couldn't wait to get Craig as
far as the lounge but took him against the wall in the hallway
each time keeping up a filthy, low voiced litany in his ear as
he buried himself to the hilt in his lover's body.  Luke had a
most inventive, obscene mouth when he was in the grip of
passion.  Craig listened, fascinated, on these occasions, as
Luke described in graphic detail what he'd been thinking about
and imagining doing with Craig when they got home.

Sometimes they would make love on the sofa or on the rug in
front of the fire in the lounge, afterwards, pulling a blanket
over themselves they would sleep until morning.

Craig's bed usually ended up as a playground for Luke.  He
was interested in trying out the few 'toys' Craig kept in the
bedside table.  It was something new and novel for him after
his previous heterosexual lifestyle and Craig was all too happy
to initiate his new lover into the mysteries of playtime.  The
fact they usually ended up laughing as much as making love
didn't seem to matter to either man.  Laughing or loving they
were very enjoyable times.

From his initial suspicion of Luke's motives, very, very
gradually Craig began to relax into the relationship.  If Luke
had been completely professional at work, Craig, again, would
have become suspicious but as he wasn't and more than a few
times Luke had taken a hell of a chance for them both by
kissing him in his office.  That, oddly enough, helped to allay
his naturally reticent and suspicious nature.  However Craig
decided his poker face must be slipping when Inspector Gold
mentioned that he was looking a lot happier and was his new
man the reason?  He fudged over his answer a little, curiously
unwilling to let Gina know the name of his new lover.  Not
that she had ever been anything less than discrete with his
confidences.

"Is it someone here, in the nick?" she asked, seemingly able to
see right through him.

When he didn't answer immediately she patted his arm and
said,

"I'm only teasing!  Good luck to you both.  I'm pleased you've
found someone you're happy with."

"Thank you Ma'am," he replied dutifully though he was
smiling.

She patted his arm again before going back to her own office
knowing she could depend on Craig not to let his personal life
interfere with his professional life, his discretion was
legendary.  She was extremely curious though as to the
identity of his new boyfriend.  As far as she knew there were
no other openly gay officers at Sun Hill.





Tuesday morning, after refs Craig was returning to his office
when he bumped into a tearful Kerry Young.

"Kerry?" he questioned.

"Sorry Sarge," she sniffed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing Sarge," she replied, her face crumpling a little more.

"Come on," he ordered, ushering her into his office and
closing the door.  "Now what is it?" he asked kindly.

After a few seconds she burst into noisy tears, saying rather
incoherently,

"I don't know what to do!"

He put his arms around her, offering comfort.  After a few
minutes she drew back and wiped her face with her hands.  He
offered her tissues from the box on his desk and waited.

"Is this something to do with why you were on sick leave this
morning?"

She nodded.

"I went to see the doctor."

“Is it serious?” he asked, genuinely concerned.

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

"Oh!"

"We haven't really been going out that long either.  I don't
even know if Luke likes children."

Gilmore's heart and stomach seemed to change places whilst a
strange numbing cold seeped into his limbs.  As if from a far
distance he heard his own voice saying,

"Luke?"

"Ashton.  PC Ashton."

"You're still seeing PC Ashton?"

She nodded.

"We've only been going out for about five months.  We've
talked about getting married but about not about starting a
family so soon."

Gilmore studied his shoes in silence for a time before he
asked,

"I take it you haven't seen Luke yet, this morning?"

"No.  He went off to stay with a couple of friends last night.
He's not back on duty yet."

"No.  No, of course he isn't," Gilmore agreed knowing full
well he'd left Luke Ashton, sated and content, in his own bed
after making love with him before arriving for his duty shift.

"What am I going to do, Sarge?"

Gilmore gave a mirthless laugh as he took a deep breath and
said the most difficult sentence of his life,

"I think you've already done that Kerry.  First things first, you
need to let Ashton know he's going to be a father."

Craig folded his arms, curling his hands into fists then
thrusting them in his armpits so hard his nails broke the skin
on the palms of his hands.  The pain helped to centre him.

"When he gets in you can use my office to tell him.  You
won't be disturbed here."

"Oh thanks Sarge!"

To Gilmore's surprise he suddenly found himself with an arm
full of grateful, blonde WPC.

"Steady on Kerry," he said, attempting a light tone.  "You
keep up with this and people will think I've gone straight!"

She giggled into his chest.  Briefly he hugged her then set her
back.

"Get on now and don't worry.  Luke will do the right thing, I'm
sure," he told her.

She smiled, a little teary eyed and left, totally unaware she had
brought Craig Gilmore's world down about his ears with her
confidences.

Craig remained standing in his office with his arms folded for
quite a while after Kerry had left.  He was thinking furiously.
He should have noticed Luke and Kerry weren't acting
constrained around each other.  And alarm bells should really
have rung all the times he'd walked in on them sharing a laugh
and a joke during ref breaks.  But he hadn't seen it or hadn't
wanted to see it, he admitted to himself.  He had so wanted a
relationship with Luke he'd chosen to blind himself to all the
signs that Luke was still sleeping with Kerry Young.  Luke
had been lying to them both.

A cold wash of anger swept through him, stunning him with
its clarity.  Luke Ashton had made his bed and now he, Craig
Gilmore, was going to make damned sure he lay in it.



Luke was a little surprised when Gilmore, totally unsmiling,
requested his presence in his office, immediately after parade.
He was more than happy to obey though, it meant he might get
to snatch a few warming kisses before he got on with his shift.
He threw open the door to the Sergeant's office smiling
broadly.  His smile faltered when he saw a watery-eyed Kerry
sitting in front of the desk.

“Kerry?  Where’s Craig?”

“He’s letting me use his office, I’ve got something to tell
you.”



As soon as he possibly could Luke went to see Craig but he
was nowhere to be found.   Eventually he was told Gilmore
had signed off straight after his shift had ended.  Luke’s heart
sank.  After the startling revelations from Kerry, Craig
obviously knew he’d been lying to him for the last couple of
months and was now was avoiding him.

Luke had also been hugely surprised that Craig hadn’t told
Kerry her boyfriend had been sleeping with him more often
than her for the past couple of months.  Careful questioning
had elicited that far from being unpleasant to Kerry, Craig had
been helpful and kind, which confused Luke.  He couldn’t
imagine why he’d been nice to someone, who was, for all
intents and purposes, his rival.

In desperation Luke tried ringing Craig’s house but there was
no answer.  As soon as possible after his shift, he made
excuses to Kerry and sped around to Gilmore’s house, trying
to let himself in with his key but his key suddenly didn’t fit the
lock.  The lounge light was on behind the drawn curtains but
there was no answer to his pounding on the door or his
demands to be let in.  Determined to speak to Craig he kept
hammering on the door.  Curtains in the windows of houses on
either side of Craig's house twitched, then a door opened just
before the door under his hands disappeared.

“What?” Gilmore asked harshly.

“Craig, let me explain.”

“Explain what?  Why you’ve lied and cheated on Kerry and
myself for two months?  Get out of my sight Luke,” he
snarled, going to shut the door.

Luke put his foot in the way to stop him.

“Get away from this door before I break your legs,” Gilmore
ordered baldly.

“You won’t hurt me,” Luke said confidently.

He was therefore extremely surprised to find himself suddenly
sitting on the floor with a split lip.  Dazed he shook his head,
trying to clear the buzzing in his ears.  Gilmore glared at him,
his fists still clenched, before turning away.  Luke surged to
his feet before the door shut.

“Craig please.  If I’ve ever meant anything to you, just let me
talk to you for a few minutes.”

The door didn’t shut completely but neither did it open fully
for a little time, then Craig threw it open.

“You’ve got five minutes,” he growled once Luke was
standing nervously in the hallway.  He folded his arms making
his body language as uncompromising as possible.

Luke took a deep breath.

“I can never apologise enough for what I’ve done….”

Gilmore snorted.

“….I never meant for this to happen.”

“You just thought we could all go on in a happy ignorant
threesome for ever and a day?”

“No.  I…I…. I don’t know what I thought.  When I first came
here I only meant it to be a one off.  But afterwards I didn’t
want it to stop.  I think I fell in love with you.”

Gilmore looked down at him, a look of complete disbelief on
his face.

“You fell in love?  Do you even know the meaning of the
word?”

Luke had the grace to look away, totally ashamed.

“All I want to say is I am so, so sorry I hurt you.  I’m sorry
you found out the way you did as well.”

Craig remained silent, fighting to hold back his tears.

“You didn’t tell Kerry, did you?” Luke asked.

"It wasn't for your benefit!" Craig snapped.  "Anyway why
should I tell her?”
“Well….she’s, um..”
“She’s been lied to as well as me.  You’ve managed to get her
pregnant too.  She was upset enough this morning I wasn’t
going to add to it.”

Both were silent.

“Have you decided what to do about the child?” Craig asked,
at last.  The child and Kerry were innocents in this, as far as he
was concerned.  Luke was the lying bastard.

“Kerry wants to keep it.”
“And you?”

Luke swallowed hard before saying,

“I asked her to marry me.”

Craig nodded once and reached for the new lock and began to
open the door.  Luke placed his hand over the top of his and
pushed it shut again.  Then put his hands on each side of
Craig’s face, tilting him so he could look into his eyes.

“I'm sorry Craig.  I am so sorry,” he said, his voice breaking.

Quickly he pulled Craig’s face towards him and kissed him
ravenously.

Luke's kisses tasted of salt, blood, sadness and guilt but Craig
couldn’t get enough until he broke off the embrace, holding
Luke away from him and looking down on the tear and
bloodstained face, almost unaware of his own tears escaping.
Luke reached up to brush the salty liquid away.  Then they
were back in each other's arms kissing as though their lives
depended on it.  Luke pulled him into the lounge, shedding
their clothes on the way.  Before he knew it Craig was on his
back on the rug with Luke entering him carefully.

Luke moved slowly trying to prolong the act as long as
possible and not once did he close his eyes, engraving the
sight in his memory and in his heart but desperation and
heartache made poor allies for staying power.  All too soon he
felt himself coming, Craig, a faction of a second behind him.
For a time they lay together, Luke holding Craig tightly
against his chest.  Finally Craig broke the silence.

“You’d better go.”

Luke tightened his hold for a second until Craig struggled free.

“Don’t come back here, Luke.  I don’t want to see you again,”
he told him without looking at him.  Craig turned over, curled
on his side staring into the fire.

Silently Luke got up, collected his clothes and dressed.  He
covered Craig with a blanket then poured two large whiskies
from the bottle on the side table, drank one and left the other
on the floor in front of Craig, who didn’t acknowledge the
gesture.  Neither did he acknowledge Luke taking his useless
front door key from his key ring and laying it down beside the
bottle before he walked out of the house for the last time.





The news of Kerry and Luke’s engagement and forthcoming
wedding went around the station like wildfire.  The lesser
news of Gilmore’s requested transfer was much less
publicised.



Gina Gold was both concerned and annoyed to receive Craig's
request for a transfer out of Sun Hill the day after Ashton and
Young announced their engagement.  She sat for a long time
thinking about how to handle this problem.  She wasn't sure if
Ashton and Young's engagement had anything to do with his
transfer request or not.  But she was certain she didn't want to
lose Gilmore, he was an excellent officer.  Finally she decided
to try to talk him out of it using the friendly approach.  They'd
been drinking buddies for a while, usually following it up with
a curry if it was a late night.  She waited, not saying anything
about his request until the day before he was due to have two
days leave.  She breezed into his office.

"Craig!  You busy tonight after work?"

"Er, no Ma'am," he replied getting to his feet.

"Forget the ma'am.  Fancy going for a curry?  It's a while since
we've had a drink, a meal and a chat."

He was silent for a beat, knowing he wasn't going to get out of
explaining himself to Inspector Gold.  He decided to get the
pain over with as soon as possible.

"OK Gina."

"Right.  Meet you in 'The Grapes'," she said, leaving his office
and not waiting for a reply.

He nodded to himself and sat down again trying to concentrate
on his work.



Gina arrived at 'The Grapes' with a group of WPC's who were
going to the pub to start an early celebration of Kerry's
engagement.  She listened with half an ear to the wedding
chatter whilst looking around for Gilmore.  He was at the end
of the bar morosely regarding two glasses of scotch.

"One of those for me?" she asked.

He indicated the untouched glass.

"Thanks Craig," she said, picking it up and touching his glass
with the rim before taking a healthy swallow of the rich peaty
liquid.  "Ahh, I needed that!"

"Long day?" he asked, forcing himself to be at least a little
sociable.

A loud burst of raucous laughter from the engagement crowd
made conversation nearby impossible.  Gina turned to look at
them then turned back to Craig, surprising a look of deep
sadness in his eyes until he dropped his face to look at his
drink instead.  Quickly she turned to see who he had been
looking at, her copper's instinct not letting her down.  Ashton!
PC Ashton had turned away quickly, his face suspiciously red,
when he'd seen Inspector Gold looking his way.  Gina wasn't
stupid enough to think Luke was looking at her, certainly not
in light of Craig's reaction.  She put two and two together very
quickly but kept her suspicions to herself.

"Shall we finish these and move on?" she asked above the
noise.

Craig nodded, knocking his drink back and waiting for Gina.
She quickly followed suit and then followed Craig out of the
pub.

"Who are the bridesmaids?" a young voice asked as Gina
walked passed the crowd from Sun Hill.

"Haven't really decided anything like that," Kerry answered.

"Ask Gilmore, he'd look lovely in a dress!" another voice
answered.

"Leave him alone!" Kerry replied, sharply.  "Gilmore's
alright," she added, surprising her audience as well as Gina.

By the look of Craig's stance outside in the street at least some
of the conversation had filtered out to him.

"Your champion is fighting for you inside," she said lightly.

He looked uncomprehendingly at her.

"Kerry.  She's telling the rest of them to lay off attempting to
make you into a bridesmaid."

He snorted softly in a half laugh.

"Think the lunch box and the hairy chest might ruin the line of
the dress," he muttered sarcastically.

"Dunno sweetie, bridal pink might be just your colour!" she
replied in a camp voice, taking his arm and heading off
towards the brightly lit entrance of 'The Goat and Compass' a
couple of hundred yards down the road.

Craig was a lot happier in the new venue and started to come
around a little, chatting and laughing at some of Gina's more
scurrilous stories.  After a while she looked at her watch and
said,

"Come on, time for one more and then lets get some food.  I
booked the table for nine."

"Booked a table?  We usually just fall into the first place we
get to."

"I fancied trying out 'Shimla Pinks' on Dufford Road.  Heard
some good reports about the food there and we need to book
for that one."

"Fair enough.  If we want to make Dufford Road for nine we'd
better make these shorts."

"My shout, you on scotch?"

He inclined his head, silently saying did she need to ask.  She
grinned and went to the bar.  Craig leaned back in his seat and
stretched his neck to ease the kinks out.  He had been very
tense for the last couple of days which had resulted in a
headache by the end of his shift.  He closed his eyes the better
to work his neck and shoulder muscles loose.

"I do a good line in massage," a male voice said close by.

Startled Craig opened his eyes suddenly, looking at the blonde
man on the next table.

"You look a little tense," he explained, his eyes twinkling with
a double meaning.

Gina chose that moment to return to their table with a glass of
scotch apiece.

The unknown man looked at Gina and then at Craig trying to
work out if he'd just made a big mistake.  By the startled looks
on both men's faces Gina correctly deduced she'd interrupted
something.  Deciding to ignore it for the time being she slid
Craig's scotch across with instructions to 'drink up'.

The man on the next table had peeled a beer mat and was
rapidly writing on it whilst they finished their drinks.  As they
stood, preparing to depart to the restaurant, he slid the mat into
Craig's hand.  Craig glanced down catching the name 'Phil'
and a telephone number.  He silently pocketed the mat and
moved off, holding the door open for Gina.  The man was still
watching him.  Imperceptibly Craig inclined his head then
followed Gina outside into the night.



'Shimla Pinks' was really undeserving of the appellation 'curry
house'.  It was a very classy establishment.  The service was
excellent and the food was even better.  Craig had been lulled
by the alcohol he'd drunk before, as well as by the wine they
were enjoying with their meal so Gina's serious question of the
night caught him by surprise.

"How long have you been seeing Luke Ashton?"

He spluttered a bit with the mouthful of muragh methi he'd
just inhaled rather than swallowing.

"What?"

"Well one thing's for sure, you weren't sleeping with Kerry
Young!"

After a space of a few seconds he even laughed.

"You bitch!"

"That's why you love me!"

"When did you work that one out?"

"Just before we left 'The Grapes'.  You and Ashton had been
sharing a meaningful look."

Craig put down his fork, his appetite suddenly deserting him.

Silently Inspector Gold watched him before saying,

"Sorry Craig, didn't intend you to stop eating."

He shook his head.

"I must look like an absolute idiot to you."

"Not at all!  I can't imagine you stormed into Ashton's love life
without a very good reason.  What concerns me is that through
his or your idiocy I'm going to lose a damned good officer."

Craig put down his napkin at this. After a long pause which
Craig spent gazing into the remains of his curry, as if it held
all the answers he finally began to speak.

"I was the idiot.  I should have known better.  The Luke
Ashtons of this world don't suddenly desperately want to be
bedded by their Sergeants without a bloody good reason."

Gina's eyebrows flicked, but she kept her thoughts to herself.

"Go on," she invited.

Craig shrugged.

"When I got my ankle cut up he turned up at my house after I
got out of hospital with a bottle of good wine as a get well
present.  Said he'd split up with Kerry and I was so desperate
to get him I believed him."

He laughed depreciatingly.  "If some scrote had come to me
pleading that tale I wouldn't have believed him for an instant,
even if he'd sworn on a stack of bibles.  But I believed Luke.
How sad is that?"

"Not sad.  You trusted him and he let you down.  We all get
let down at some point.  We wouldn't be human if we didn't.
He obviously didn't give you reason to doubt him."

"He was in my bed so often the days he wasn't there I was
grateful for the rest!"

Gina laughed loudly, holding her hand in front of her mouth to
stop spraying him with her food.

"It's not funny!  He made me realise, amongst other things, I'm
getting old."

"God help me then!"

"And me."

Suddenly Craig put his hands in front of his face, then dragged
them down to rest his chin on his clenched fists.

"Please don't deny my transfer. I'm not sure I can stay sane
with all Sun Hill going insane with wedding plans."

"Oh Craig!"

"Sorry Gina.  I'm don't how much of the 'happy couple' I can
take."

"Do you have a problem with Kerry Young?"

"No.  Poor woman has been stuck with a baby she hadn't
planned on.  At least Luke is doing right by her."

"At the same time doing wrong by you."

"Wrong by us both.  I've seen it a few times before, they think
they have everything with a wife and a couple of kids then
suddenly it isn't enough.  Luke's afraid to admit openly that
he's bi."

"I've seen it as well.  Kerry isn't going to have the happiest of
married lives."

"And she's done nothing to deserve that.  She fell in love with
the wrong bloke."

Gina reached across and squeezed his hand.

"Just like you did.  You have a lot in common."

"Please don't tell her just how much in common!"

"What do you think I am?"
"A bloody good friend."

She laughed.

"That won't ever change."

Without relinquishing her hand he looked into her eyes and
said,

"You know sometimes I really do wish I was straight."

"Craig Gilmore, you are an old romantic."

"Much good it does me."
"It will.  One day.  Anyway can you imagine it?  We're both so
married to the job the wedding would look like Police
Special!"

Craig laughed, well aware he'd had far too much to drink.
One of the dangers of having a female  Inspector who could
drink you under the table.

"Well can I request you order me a lot of strong, hot coffee
now please?  In case I really do propose to you."

"Lots of coffee coming up!" she replied quickly, knowing how
much he was hurting and how much he was trying to hide it
from her.  In her not so humble opinion Craig Gilmore was
one of the Metropolitan Police's finest officers.



The next morning was an exercise in self restraint.  Gina
offered him a pint of water, a cup of industrial strength coffee
and two painkillers just before she left for an appointment
with her sister.

"If you want..," she swallowed hard, "..food, help yourself
from the kitchen!"

Craig groaned in sympathy.

"You know where the bathroom is."

He nodded slightly not wanting to disturb his aching head and
churning stomach.

"Feel free to stay as long as you want, you lucky git!" she said
as she closed the door.

Craig couldn't even summon a slight smile from his position
under a heavy blanket on her settee.  Malevolently eyeing the
bottle of red they'd finished off the evening with, he made a
promise to his liver to give it a rest for at least the rest of the
week.  He decided he'd better not make a practise of getting
his Inspector to help him heal a broken heart.  He wasn't sure
if the rest of his major internal organs could take the resultant
stress.





Craig watched, hidden at the back of venue, as Luke Ashton
married Kerry Young.  He didn’t attend the celebrations
afterwards.  He’d already said his goodbyes to those he cared
to.  He hadn't joined in with the joint presents given to the
couple by their colleagues either.  Instead he’d given Kerry a
silver photo frame as a private wedding present a few days
before the ceremony.  She had been spending quite a while
trying to persuade him to come to the reception, unaware of
what she was asking.  He had refused, each time, politely but
very firmly.  Knowing how difficult it was to change his mind
once it was made up she had finally decided to leave the
matter alone.



Their son was born four and a half months later after an
uncomplicated delivery.  Luke was overwhelmed when he
held him.  For the first time he knew what it felt like to love
unconditionally.

“He’s perfect!” Luke said overawed.

“Wonder if we’ll think that in a few months time when he’s
keeping us awake all night?” Kerry quipped smiling, looking
lovingly at her baby nestling in her husband's arms.

After a short silence she asked,

“Luke do you mind if we change his name?”

“I thought we’d agreed on Joseph, after your Dad," Luke
replied, unable to take his eyes off his son.

“As his first name, yes.  I meant change his middle name.”

“Depends what you want to change it to.”

“I was thinking about Craig.”

For a second Luke froze, then asked carefully.

“Why Craig?”

“I really like the name and it was my cousin’s name.”

“Don’t think I’ve met him.”

“You wouldn’t have, he was killed in a hit and run about ten
years ago.”
“Oh!”

“Well what do you think?”

“If you want to call him Craig, I’m OK with that,” Luke
replied, leaning over to kiss his wife.  Daringly he added,
laughing,

“I thought for a minute you wanted to call him after Craig
Gilmore.”

To his surprise she blushed slightly.

“Kerry?”

“Well, he was very kind to me when I didn’t know what to
do!” she replied defensively.  After a short silence she
continued,

“I spend ages trying to talk him into coming to the reception,
but he wouldn’t, even though he gave us a very nice present.  I
was pleased to see him at the wedding though.”

“Present?  He was at our wedding?”

“Didn’t you see him?  He was right at the back.”

“I thought he hadn’t turned up!”

“He only stayed for the ceremony then he went, said he was
on late shift at his new nick.”

“Oh!” Luke replied weakly.  Luckily he was saved from
thinking any further by his son who chose that moment to
exercise his lungs.



Kerry chose to put her favourite picture of Joseph Craig into
the silver photo frame Craig Gilmore had given them for a
wedding present, completely oblivious of the memories it
conjured up for her husband.  She did notice the frame seemed
to pick up and awful lot of fingerprints though, as if Luke
picked it up a lot.



For a time married life settled Luke down, especially after Joe
was born.  Both he and Kerry were too tired to do much more
than work and look after the baby.  When Kerry returned to
duty she was even more tired in the evenings, whilst mornings
were spent in a mad rush getting Joe ready to go to the child
minders and themselves ready for work.  The times they did
manage to snatch an hour or two for themselves and made
love left Luke feeling vaguely dissatisfied.  Before they were
married their sex life had been good.  His sex life with Craig
had been fantastic but to compare Craig to Kerry would be
unfair, especially now.  She was tired nearly all the time
whereas Craig and he had always plenty of energy to spare for
passionate pursuits.

Most mornings he indulged in some quality time with his right
hand whilst showering, his mind replaying scenes from his
time as Craig's lover.  It at least relieved the frustration but
again left him yearning for the closeness he had enjoyed after
he'd made love with Craig.  Craig had always held him close
afterwards.  Tears of frustration slid down his face mingling
with the shower water.   Wearily he shut off the water and
stood under the shower listening to Kerry talking to Joe and
hearing him gurgle back at her.  He smiled at the sounds.
Kerry had given him a beautiful son and she was a good wife
he should be more grateful instead of bemoaning his lot.  It
didn't stop him waking in the middle of the night though, with
a raging hard-on desperate to feel a solid muscular body under
his whilst he plundered a tight hot channel.  Quietly he got out
of bed so he wouldn't disturb Kerry and crept to the sitting
room of their flat once there he took care of his problem
quickly and quietly.  After he'd cleaned himself up he lay on
the settee thinking.  Tracking down Craig Gilmore was out of
the question.  After the way he'd treated the other man he
would be lucky to escape with his life!  However, being a
copper did have some compensations.  For example, he knew
where there were a lot of anonymous gay bars and knew what
went in the toilets.  Faintly he heard Joe begin to witter.  He
got up and went to soothe the baby and change him before he
woke Kerry.

Without being aware of making a conscious decision he told
Kerry he was going for a quick drink with some of the lads
from Barton Street after work the next night.  Quickly he
headed off, miles away from any of his usual haunts.  The pub
was crowded, dimly lit and very noisy.  A lot of same sex
couples were standing against the walls attempting to talk over
the din, a few were kissing openly.  Ashton envied their
freedom.  He bought himself a drink and looked around.  A
few of the men checked him out but no-one approached him
until he'd nearly finished his drink.

"Hi."

Luke turned around to see a man about his own age smiling at
him in the half-light.

"Hi," he responded cautiously.

Seemingly accidentally the other man's hand brushed against
the front of his jeans.  He smirked then took Ashton's hand,
towing him behind as he headed to the back of the pub.
Confidently the man pushed open the door to the gents, and
smoothly swung them both into a recently vacated cubicle,
bolting the door behind them.  Within seconds the man had his
shirt undone, unzipped his jeans and was unwrapping a
condom.

"Come on!" he ordered as Ashton stood watching him get
ready.

Slightly dazed Ashton started to undo his shirt. He was
obviously moving way too slowly because the other man
closed in suddenly and had his jeans unbuttoned and around
his knees in very short order.

"How long you been out?" he asked, roughly pumping
Ashton's cock to full erection.  "Or are you out?"

Luke didn't answer the question, instead he asked, at little
breathlessly,

"What's your name?"

"Dave.  You?"

"Luke."
"You've never done this before have you Luke?"

"Yes!"

Dave's eyebrows rose a little.

"Wife at home is she?"

"How did you…"

Dave held up Luke's left hand, his wedding ring glinting in the
light.

"Well not-quite-out-Luke do you want to fuck?"

Luke nodded.

"Got anything with you?"

Belatedly Luke fished in his jeans pocket for a condom.  Dave
took it out of his hand, unwrapped it and then squirted a some
lube in the end before rolling it onto Luke.

"What's that for?"

"Nice little trick, feels really good before you come," he said,
masturbating him.  The lube inside the condom coated him
and made it feel like he was inside warm flesh and not
wearing any protection.  Dave watched his reaction and
smiled.

"Feels good doesn't it?"

Luke nodded, leaning in for a kiss.  Dave evaded his lips.

"Don't kiss on the mouth.  Don't want to take anything back to
your wife, do you?"

Dave kissed along his collar bones and the side of his neck.

"Turn round," he whispered.

Luke turned to face the wall as Dave positioned him as he
wanted.  Without warning two fingers slick with lube
penetrated him, roughly preparing him.  He gasped in surprise
and a little pain.  He didn't remember it hurting this much
when Craig had prepared him.  The fingers went and
something much larger replaced them.  Luke bit his lip to keep
from crying out and tried consciously to relax to ease the pain
as Dave pushed in hard.  Not giving him chance to adjust to
the intrusion Dave began to fuck him either unaware or
uncaring that he was hurting his partner.

"You've got a nice tight arse!" he said, his breath ghosting
along the back of Ashton's neck.  Luke leaned his forehead
against the cool tiles, waiting for this to be over.  A couple of
minutes later Dave's breathing changed then he hung against
Luke's back for a few seconds panting.

"Thanks for that Luke," Dave said breezily, cleaning himself
up and flushing the tissue and used condom away.  Luke
turned around to lean against the wall.  Belatedly looking
down Dave asked,

"You come yet?"

Luke shook his head, his eyes closed.

"You should have said!"

Closing in he pulled Luke to him.  Heat radiated from the
other man's skin as he let Luke rest his head against his
shoulder a hand in the centre of his back holding him in place.
Patiently he used his hand to bring Luke off, staring over his
shoulder at the tiles, a little bored now.  When Luke had
finished Dave propped him against the wall and asked,

"Better now?"

Luke nodded starting to clean himself up and put his clothing
back in order.  Dave watched him until he was ready to leave
then he flashed him a quick smile, unbolted the door and left,
disappearing into the sea of bodies in the pub.  Luke followed
him out more slowly but kept walking until he was outside on
the pavement.  Then he kept on walking until he got to the
nearest tube station.

Kerry was asleep on the settee with the TV on when he arrived
home. Luke didn't wake her.  He tiptoed into to look at Joe
then went to the bathroom and took a long, hot shower.  He
felt physically sore and heartsick.  He'd had sex with another
man and a more impersonal act it would have been hard to
imagine.  The craving for homosexual sex had been satisfied
temporarily but his craving for the emotional closeness he
associated with it was now more acute than ever.



From force of habit Craig checked out his surroundings.  The
lighting was dim enough to conceal any number of crimes
going on in the shadier corners, a few pairs of men were
trekking to and from the toilets or the yard at the back of the
bar and his sensitive nostrils caught a whiff of marijuana
smoke coiling distinctively though the heady atmosphere of
hops, malt and sex.  He could recognise a pick-up joint when
he was in one.

"What the hell are we doing here?" he said to his companion.

"Calm down Craig, it's not as bad as it looks. They keep a
good cellar here."
"Thank heaven for small mercies," Craig muttered
sarcastically following the other man to the bar.

"I want you to try this one," Steve said to him, handing him a
half pint glass containing some murky liquid.

"Are you sure it's drinkable?" he asked.

"Cheers!"

Steve upended his glass and swallowed half of the contents in
one mouthful.  Gingerly Craig sipped the brew.  Despite its
unprepossessing appearance it tasted very good.  Encouraged
he took a bigger mouthful.

"Good?"

He nodded, pleasantly surprised.

"How did you find out about this place?" he asked.

"A couple of he nurses at the hospital told me about it," Steve
replied.  "A gay pub serving good real ale just defies the
imagination."

Craig grinned.  The novelty value was certainly the only
reason he was here.  He was turning back to speak to Steve
when the profile of one of the younger men at the far end of
the bar caught his attention. His heart thudded heavily in his
chest as the man turned to speak to the other man at his side
letting him see his full face.  Luke Ashton, chatting happily at
the bar.

"Craig, you alright?" Steve asked.

"What?  Yes.  Sorry, just thought I recognised someone, that's
all."

Steve scanned back across the bar but didn't see anyone he
recognised.  Instead a heavy hand clapped him on his shoulder
as the rest of their party arrived.  Soon Craig was too
preoccupied in catching up with his friends to spend a lot of
time looking for Ashton.  He caught sight of him once,
returning from the gents, adjusting the zip of his trousers, but
that didn't have to mean anything.  A lot of men tended to do
that.  By ten Craig was saying his goodbyes.  It was his turn to
cook supper and Phil tended to come off late shift as hungry as
a hunter.  He would not be pleased if there wasn't food on the
table the minute he stepped through the door.  He exited the
pub and turned right at the front door.  As he drew level with
the entrance to the alley which gave access to the yard at the
back of the pub the unmistakable sound of someone being
punched reached his ears.

"Hey!" he shouted, looking into the darkness.

Scuffling feet and a grunt of pain answered him, then, shortly
afterwards the sound of a shuffling walk.  A man walked into
the circle of sodium wash from the street light.  He was
hunched over a little, holding his ribs, a stream of dark liquid
running from his nose and staining his shirt.

"Thanks," he grunted.

"I'll call it in," Craig replied, taking out his mobile phone, not
evincing the least surprise at the identity of the victim.

"No!"

"Luke, you look like you've been mugged."

"Craig please don't call it in.  He only got a tenner off me."

"And gave you a few punches.  Has he broken your ribs?"

"Don't think so," Luke replied, leaning against the wall.  The
door to the pub opened three men exiting and walking away
into the night, laughing and talking.

Craig put his hand under Luke's elbow and helped him to
stand upright then put an arm around him to steady him and
began walking.

"Where are we going?" Luke asked.

"My place.  You need cleaning up before you go home.  Does
Kerry know where you are?"

He shook his head, carefully.

"I said I was going out for drink with a couple of the lads."

Craig didn't reply, he didn't need it spelling out for him.  It
was obvious Luke had picked up a man.  Unfortunately the
wrong man. Instead of sex he'd gotten a beating and the last of
his money taken.

Five minutes walking brought them onto a main road where
Craig flagged down a taxi.  They got in and Craig gave his
address.  Grateful for the soothing heat of the other man, Luke
stayed as close as he could.  He was delighted when Craig
draped an arm across his shoulders pulling him even closer.
Luke sighed.  For the first time in eighteen months he felt
content.  He was almost asleep when the taxi pulled to a halt.
Craig helped him out of the taxi and into the house.  He took
him straight through to the kitchen then assembled his first aid
requirements.  Gently Craig doctored his cuts and bruises and
insisted on checking his ribs which were turning a glorious
purple.

"Do you want to let Kerry know where you are?"

Luke shook his head.

"No need.  She's visiting her mother with Joe."

"Joe?"

"Our son," he smiled, then winced as the movement pulled his
cut lip.

Craig nodded then asked,

"Are you on duty tomorrow?"

"Not until afternoon."

"Right.  I can lend you some money for a taxi if you want to
go home, or you can sleep in the spare room."

"That's good of you Craig.  I'd like to stay."

"OK."

The timer on the cooker pinged.  Craig busied himself taking a
pot out of the oven and a tray of foiled wrapped potatoes.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"A bit."

Craig took the lid off the cooking pot letting a rich aroma of
succulent beef stew escape.  He stirred the mixture and tasted
it, adding some ground pepper.

"Smells good," Luke said.

"It'll take about another twenty minutes.  Do you want to get
cleaned up while I put some sheets on the bed?"

"Yes please," Luke said, grateful for the offer.

He stood up carefully.  Craig returned the food to the oven and
then preceded Luke up the stairs.  Luke recognised a couple of
pictures hanging on the walls from Craig's previous house.
Craig switched on the bathroom light, rummaged in a
cupboard for a couple of towels and said,

"I'll find you something to wear."

Luke was under a scalding hot shower when he sensed the
bathroom door opening.

"There's a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt here for you," Craig
said loudly.

"Thanks Craig," Luke replied.

"I'll get the blood out of your shirt," he continued, not waiting
for a reply.

The little conversation they had wasn't anything out of the
ordinary but at least the tension between them was reducing
slowly.

Moving like an old man Luke dried himself and dressed in the
borrowed clothing.  He recognised the T-shirt, it was an old
one of his.  He must have left it at Craig's last place.  He
shuffled along the landing, looking in the first room.  It held a
double bed, a wardrobe and a chest of drawers and was
obviously Craig's bedroom. The room at the end of the landing
had a bedside light switched on, making it seem inviting.  The
duvet on the double bed had been turned down.  He put his
jeans across the foot of the bed and retraced his steps.
Downstairs he heard the sound of the front door shutting and a
male voice saying cheerily,

"That smells nice, I'm starving!"

"You're always starving," Craig replied to the other man.

From the top of the stairs Luke could see down to the small
hallway below.  A blonde haired man had his arms wrapped
around Craig and they were kissing gently and just as
obviously enjoying it.  A peculiar pain shot through Luke as
he watched them.

"Mmm.  Had a good day?" Craig was asking.

"Not bad.  You?"

"Not bad."

The mans hands were roaming freely over Craig's body,
coming to rest on the curve of his buttocks.  Craig broke off
the kiss and laughed.

"I thought you were hungry."

"Oh I am.  I'm always hungry for you!" he replied
lasciviously.

Craig leaned in and whispered something to him.

"What?  Staying here?" Phil asked, his voice raised.

Luke must have made a slight noise which alerted the man to
his presence at the top of the stairs.  Craig immediately
dropped his arms and stepped away.

"Luke, this is Phil Cooper.  Phil, Luke Ashton.  I used to work
with Luke at Sun Hill."

"Hi Luke," Phil said, trying his best to appear pleased to see
him.

"Luke got mugged this evening.  Will you take a look at him?"
Craig asked.

"Yeah, sure," Phil replied.  "Come on through to the kitchen,"
he said kindly to Luke.

Luke looked questioningly at Craig as he descended the stairs.

"Phil's a doctor at St Gemma's A&E department," he
explained.

"Oh, a doctor."

Phil checked him over quickly.

"I'd get to your GP when you can.  One of those ribs might be
cracked.  He can arrange for an X-ray, but the rest of you
looks OK."

"Thanks Phil," Luke said, pulling down his T-shirt.

Craig dished up supper whilst Luke and Phil chatted about
inconsequentials.  The stew was very tasty and filling but
Luke's appetite had almost deserted him.  He knew he had no
right to be jealous of Phil.  He was quite obviously a good
man and he seemed to care for Craig a lot, but that didn't stop
him feeling like telling him to keep his hands off Craig.  Craig
noticed Luke eating very little.

"Luke if you want to go to bed just go.  Don't feel you have to
sit up with us."

"Thanks I think I will turn in.  I'm a bit sore."
"Do you want any painkillers," Phil offered, immediately.

"No, it's alright thanks."

Did the man have to be so nice? He thought to himself as he
made his way upstairs.



He lay awake for a little while listening to Phil and Craig still
talking in the kitchen, then their voices moved to the lounge
area.  Eventually he dozed off only to be wakened a couple of
hours later by the gentle sound of Craig and Phil making love.
He lay listening to them until the soft sounds drifted into
silence.  It almost felt like he was being punished for his
unthinking cruelty to Craig.  This must have been how Craig
had felt all those times Luke had pushed his relationship with
Kerry in his face.  Now it was his turn.  He'd finally realised
what he'd lost when he'd chosen Kerry over Craig only to find
Craig had picked himself up and moved on with his life,
leaving Luke behind as part of his past.  Cold tears ran over
his nose and down his face into the pillow.  He sniffed, wiping
his face with his hand.  What a mess he had made of things.
Quietly the bedroom door opened.

"Luke, are you alright?" Craig whispered from the doorway.

Luke hesitated before saying,

"No, not really."

"Are you in pain?  Shall I wake Phil?" he asked coming into
the room.

"No, don't wake Phil," Luke replied sitting up in bed carefully
so he didn't jar his aching ribs.

Craig sat on the side of the bed.

"What's the matter?"

"Why didn't you tell me I'd was making a mistake marrying
Kerry?"

"Oh Luke!" Craig sighed.  "I can't live your life for you."

Luke fumbled in the darkness for Craig's hand and held it
tightly.

"I've really missed you," he said softly.  "Can you ever forgive
me for the way I treated you?"

Craig returned the pressure and said quietly.

"I forgave you a long time ago."

"You're a far better man than I am, Craig."

"Not really," Craig replied.

"I'm not sure I would have been able to forgive you, if things
had been different."

"I think you would have.  You always forgive the ones you
love, whatever they've done."

Hesitantly Luke reached out in the darkness to touch Craig's
face then entirely by touch found his lips and leaned forward
to gently kiss him.  Luke wrapped his arms around the other
man, taking comfort from his body heat and scent.  He
couldn't believe he'd been such an idiot as to throw away the
gift of love he'd been given by this man.

"I love you," Luke breathed softly.

Craig carefully tightened his hold on Luke, but didn't reply.