Title: Untitled Author pseudonym: Panda Rating: PG-13, Pairing: Quinnan / Loxton Status: Snippet (final) in unfinished series. Disclaimers: Characters mentioned belong to Thames / Pearson. ======= Untitled ======= This morning, apropos of nothing, he asked why I loved him. It was about the last thing I expected. We were lying in bed, doing as good an impression of a contented married couple as we could. He was propped up on pillows, reading a novel, and whilst I had the paper spread out in front of me I was actually inhabiting that dream world of being half asleep. The room was quiet apart from our breathing, the occasional turn of a page and the purring of his blasted Siamese cat that appeared to be of the opinion that while I may not be her favourite person, my feet were good enough to sleep on. I didn’t bother trying to shift her. I was afraid of the baleful look she’d give me followed closely by the baleful look her owner would give me. What could I say? That I loved him for so many reasons that I’d be here all day if I tried to express them. And even if I did, translating my emotions into mere words would make them appear hollow and meaningless. That… That… Even if I were to admit my feelings I wouldn’t know where to start. Or where to end. I love him because I know without a shadow of a doubt that, in his own way, he loves me. I thought, but never really admitted it to myself, that this was the case before he returned to Sun Hill. Now there is no question of it, it is as if it were cast in stone. I love him because I can trust him and that he has always been there for me, the only exception being the year he was away. Most ‘normal’ relationships don’t have that level of commitment. To this day we have never had a fight. Very rarely do we even get close to it, and if we do, we go our separate ways before any damage can be done. I love him because I know that he trusts me. I feel he’s let me more into his life than anyone. Freely. I love him because he has this innate ability to make me feel special. Without even trying. I think he is oblivious to this. I’m not. I feel as though, for whatever reason, he chose me. I’ve felt like this from the very beginning. He doesn’t seem to notice the way people look at him or if he does he pays them no heed. I know that he could have virtually anyone that he wanted, and… well, to know that he wants me is just amazing. I love him because he came back to me. Twice. First, in passing, the night he left. And then for good. When he arrived on my doorstep the second time I was so stunned that I could have made a real fool of myself. I probably would have too, if not for Tony being there to take charge of the situation. I love him because I can clearly remember all our times together. The first time he touched me holds a more special place in my memory than the first time I ever had sex. I love him because tough-guy persona aside, he has allowed himself to get lumbered with a Siamese cat that whinges more than Reg the morning after a curry. The sight of said cat following him around or sitting on his lap never fails to amuse me. I love him because… Because I just do. Have done from the moment he walked me back to my flat so many years ago. Probably always will. Whatever happens. He’s not an easy person to forget. It is for these reasons and more that I love him. I answered his question that instigated this early morning soul searching with none of the above. I told him that the reason I loved him was because his naked body was the sexiest thing that I could imagine. As he laughed and replied that he suspected as much, the duvet slipped a little down, exposing his pale brown nipples. The gorgeous sight gave me a damn fine excuse to put my reasoning into action. His book hit the carpet with a dull thud as I rolled over onto him. The cat, on the other hand, hit the floor with an indignant whine. The last sound I heard before surrendering to sensation was the cat kneading what was no doubt my jumper and then everything was forgotten.