Disclaimer:    They are soooo not ours.  You can tell 'cos we'd
               have had Luke put out of his misery in 1998.

Title:         Affairs of the Heart, by mitsy and george
Authors:       Ohh no you don't.  we is not taking da masks off for
NOBODY!
Fandom:        The Bill
Pairing:       Luke Ashton/Sgt Craig Gilmore
Rating:        Nc17 (not for minors noooo)
Category:      BADFIC! BAD BAD BAD wiv wuv and sobs and dirty bits
Archive:       sunhill, fabulae, savegilmore Feedback:
adorable_sgt@hotmail.com, unless you know where to find us

Comments:      The authors rise, adjust their balaclavas,
               and read from a prepared statement:

"No wonder we never used to watch this show, its gone crap! and Marquess can
get knotted if he thinks we're watching it any  more when Craig's gone.  As
this is THE BILL we can only expect more heatache and pain and no happy ending
so we decided to write our own.  Thank you."

Dedicated to:  all the other authors out there who TOTALLY inspired us

====================

Affairs of the Heart
by mitsy and george

=====================

Chatper One

Craig was getting very tired of this, it had been another day of Luke
ignoring him and being all over Kerry.  He tried hard to ignore it being
a professional, but it really was to much to bear sometimes.  When will
this torture ever end, he thought gloomily, pushing past the others in
the hall.  It was time to go home.  He was always glad the sergeants had
a sepearate room from the pcs, it made things a little easier for both
of them.

What's wrong with him" said Tony, jerking his thomb in the direction of
Sgt Gilmore "he's got a face like a wet weekend".  "Miserable old poof"
said Boyden snarling, "what do you expect Well bye, I don't know about
you but I've got a hot date, cant waist time talking about him all
night." and off he went.  He bumped rudely past Reg and Des in the
hallway on his way out.

Tony and Gary and the others watched him go muttering "bet shes married
too".  "Honestly you think theyd would be a bit more professional
towards each other" said Luke a bit hypocritically, "its bad for morale
if the higher ups cant keep their conflicts to themselves."  He felt a
bit bad as he said it, but it was necessary.  He wished he could talk to
Tony about the guilt he felt sometimes but he didn't think hed
understand, maybe he would have been able to when he was puppywalking
him, but they werent that close any more.  "Are you coming tonight",
said Tony.  "I wont thanks anyway though, Tone" said Luke, "I'm taking
Kerry out for dinner".  He hadn't arranged it but he thought it would be
a nice romantic gesture. Kerry liked surprises and it would give her a
chance to wear her new dress, he'd heard her telling Cass about it.
He didn't want to go out with the others, anyway, Des kept glowering at
him and making fun of him.  And Reg just ignored it, every time he'd had
been past him today he was telling Des not to worry it happened to every
man sometimes.  Luke trying to be friendly said yes, even he'd had a
complaint against him, it happened to everybody, and been very offended
by the way they looked at him like he was stupid or something.  He was
getting very disappointed with the level of camaradary in the station,
it seemed to have disappeared while he was away.  It made him sad to
think how much people had changed, but he supposed it was only to be
expected with all those deaths, it had to have some effect.  He'd seen
it before, his time in the African swamps helping out with trauma
counselling and his own experiences on leaving the Police Service the
first time after seeing a junky shoot himself and then his little girl
had taught him to be much more understanding.

Craig came out of the sergeants room behind them just in time to
overhear Lukes last comment and ignored it, walking away down the
corridor.  "You coming Sarge"? said Gary.  Craig stopped ignoring Luke
as if he wasn't there and thought, well it might take his mind off
things, "why not, I'll just get something from my office first and I'll
see you there okay?".  Tony made a face and said "Well done Gary,"
sardonically, "thatll make the evening go like a blast. I bet he works
out crime statistics in his sleep.  So much for a night off!"  He
grinned at Luke who rolled his eyes at him in return.

They met up at the pub shortly later, nobody else was there they were
off at the Ellcott Arms, while the others thought theyd try the Red Lion
for once.  They were avoiding Reg and Des who was being very
introspective and grumpier than usual, and nobody wanted to hear Regs
predictions for the future even if he was right.  Tony had actually
wanted some time to talk to Gary by himself, he could see he was getting
worried about his friendship with Lee the taraway, and thought he might
be feeling a bit left out, or at the least very defensive about the
paternalism.  Really Gary was to young to be so cynical about people. He
was just saying so when Craig arrived.

"Oh I don't know" said Craig, pensively. "Sometimes people really aren't
worth the ground there standing on, you can never tell.  You just have
to look at the way they behave, that's all you can judge them on.
Actions speak louder than words."

He stared into his pint, wishing he really believed that. Somewhere in
his heart he knew Luke couldn't possibly have meant the things he said,
or the way he ignored him. On the other hand he knew a genuine kiss when
he felt it, he hadnt imagined the response of Lukes body to his.  He
sighed and shifted in his seat, the memories were to much for him.  Tony
mistook his flush of pleasure for displeasure at their company and said
"Its time I was off, I'm meeting someone." He wasn't but the last thing
he wanted after a long day was a maudlin Seargant, even Reg was better
than that.  Maybe he could catch up with the others before going home,
or maybe even check up on Lee. "You coming Gary?"
Gary was going to say yes, but looking at Gilmour he got the feeling the
older man wanted to talk, he had a weariness about him in his soft blue
eyes.  It was a bit startling to see, he respected the older man as an
officer but you don't get used to thinking about the brass as having
feelings, specially not tough sergeants.   But something in him said
this man needs to talk. "No Tony, I don't think I will, " he said, "I'm
interested in this.  So are you saying that some people are intrinsicly
evil?"

Craig shook his head "no, but I think that sometimes the things they do
can show you that there not going to change.  Its one of the saddest
things in this job," Tony waved a desultery goodbye leaving them, to
their conversation.  It was one he'd heard before, he'd used to talk
about this sort of thing with Dave Quinnan before he went bonkers.  "You
have to give people a chance", he said disgustedly as he walked off.

"I tend to agree" said Gary in response to the Sergeants comment,
drinking his beer.  "Same again?"  Craig agreed and they had another
round, he made sure he paid Gary back for it.  After a while he managed
to relax, he found Gary was really quite bright under the defensiveness.
He guessed it was a kind of emotional armour, he knew from whispers
around the station he'd been let down by a woman and he felt a kinship
with him.  After all Luke had let him down, hadn't he?  He felt a bit
more confident now, really it was silly to get wound up about it and let
it spoil his evening.  And it was rather nice talking to such a handsome
young man who wasn't getting at him.

"What about sexuality Searge?" said Gary, quite innocently.  "I mean if
you cant change your moral nature can you change anything else? You hear
about people going ex-Gay don't you?."  Craig sighed, obviously it had
been too good to last.  "Are you having a go at me?" "No, said Gary,
astonished, "just curious."  Craig was wary but he thought he'd give him
the benefit of the doubt, Gary tended to speak before he thought.  He'd
bet a tenner it got him into all sorts of trouble on Email!  "Do you
think its possible..."

"No Gary" interrupted Craig. "I think people can be afraid and hide
their true selves, which is, well I'm not going to make a moral
judgement, its not my place and not everybody is lucky.  But I think it
is very sad if people feel they have to hide, especially if its love.
And even if it isn't then it still is sad, if its okay for Matt Boyden
and Des to go out and bonk everything on two legs, and other people cant
legitimately explore their sexuality without negative feedback it's a
double standard, and quite uncivilised in this day and age."

Gary was astonished, Craig was speaking with an unguarded passion he
hadnt seen in the older man before.  "So when you say exploring", he
said, slowly, thinking about some times when he was younger, like every
young man hed wondered.  "It's like exploring anything else, " said
Craig, matter of factly. "If you go somewhere you don't want to go then
you don't go there again, do you? But at least you know it's there, and
whether it's the right place.  For you, I mean"  he blushed a little, he
didn't really want to stretch the allergy any further, it was all
starting to sound a bit biological and distasteful.  "Hmm" said Gary,
"So if I..." Craig interrupted him hastily, "So how are you settling
in?".  It was bad enough him fancying one PC, but there had been a
question in Gary's dark eyes it was safer not to see.

They talked about basic probationer things for another round, then it
was time to go.  Gary was walking home, he only lived close by.  But
Craig had left his car a couple of blocks away, in a dark parking lot.
It was on Garys way home so they walked together talking.  It was a good
evening, they enjoyed each others company very much and Craig hadn't
thought about Luke at all, in some ways he hadn't even had to try.  They
got to the car, Craig started unlocking his door.  "Okay, well I'll see
you at work tomorrow."

"Wait a minute... can I just ask you one more thing," said Gary, moving
around to Craig's side of the car, leaning against the door so he
couldn't open it.  "Yes, what is it Gary", asked Craig warily, leaning
back.  He had a feeling he knew what was coming, there were butterflies
of mild excitement in his stomach.  He was courting disaster, but there
was an attraction in that, it just made it more electric between them.
Against his better judgment he kept his hand where it was on the roof of
the car, trying hard not to notice the way Garys was creeping towards
it, nonchalantly.  He looked at him seductively through his eyelashes,
they were long and dark and reminded Craig of tendrils of dark moss on
the fallen branches in a quiet dark forest.  "What if, " said Gary, and
put his hand on Craig's cheek, "somebody wanted to explore, like you
were saying, I mean it wouldn't mean anything would it?"  He didn't
sound as if he wanted to hear either answer.  "I shouldn't be doing
this", thought Craig, his heart beating but he looked at Gary in the
tunsten lights, who smiled handsomely at him, and reached one hand up to
undo Craigs buttons on his shirt.  "at least he is an adult and knows
what he wants".  "Only if you want it to," he breathed knowing now there
was no point trying to escape this, because he didn't want to.
His last thought as there lips met was that at least Gary unlike Luke
knew his own mind, and judging from the way he was kissing him he had a
pretty good idea what was going on in his Sergeants too.



Chapter two

Luke was beginning to regret his decision too take Kerry out for dinner.
It wasn't that she was boring him more that she wasn't interesting him
very much.  She didn't half look hot though.  Her new dress, the one
he'd heard her telling Cass about, hugged her trim figure and emphasized
her tits. Although his mind had been elsewhere at the time Luke couldn't
help but notice the way there waiter had copped an eyeful as she'd bent
down to point out what she wanted on the menu.  Luke didn't mind.
Besides, he'd been checking out the Waiters cute bubble butt at the time
anyway.

"So, who do you reckon is better?" Kerry asked, her mouth full of bread.
The site wasn't something Luke really felt he needed to see.  It wasn't
as bad as some of the things he'd seen in deepest darkest Africa but it
was still bad.  "Nigella Bites or the Naked chef?"

"Huh?" Luke grunted after making a point of swallowing what was in his
mouth first.  Good manners never hurt anyone.  He had no idea who -- or
what -- she was talking about.  The names sounded like porn stars to
Luke.  Not that he was a fan of porn, of course.  It was demeaning.  And
all the grunting and groaning unnerved him.  Not to mention the dodgy
music.

Kerry pouted.  "Haven't you been listening to a word I said?" she
complained, leaning across the table to pinch one of Lukes chips, nearly
falling out of her dress in the process.  Luke had to look away, his
appetite all but desserting him.  "I was talking about cooking.  You
know, which tv chef is better.  I was thinking of going out on the
weekend and buying some of their DVDs.  You know, so I can finally learn
to cook."

"You can't cook?" Luke asked faintly, pushing away his half eaten meal
and taking a gulp of his coke.  Her confession surprised him.  On the
other hand it explained why he'd ever only gone to hers for sex, not a
meal.  "Oh."

Kerry pouted.  Again.  She was good at pouting.  It came with being
blond. "What do you mean by oh?" she demanded querously, pulling Luke's
plate across the table and hoeing into his left over chips.  It was,
Luke thought, like watching Tony eat.  "Don't tell me your some fascist
misogynist who thinks women should be barefoot and pregnant and chained
to the stove so there'll be a hot meal on the perfectly set table when
the master of the house comes home?"

Luke shook his head, the mental image going straight to his stomach and
making him feel even queasier.  Children!  She was taking things too
fast. He didn't even know if he wanted children.  He'd seen things in
Africa that had made him despair of humanity.  This was no world to
bring children into. Not for another five or so years anyway.  "Of
course not!" he exclaimed, blinking wide eyes nervously.  "I'm just...
ah...  surprised that you... ah.... Can't cook."

"S'pose you can cook then," Kerry pouted, taking a healthy swig of her
glass of wine.

"I can as it happens," Luke replied proudly.  "I'm quiet a good cook.  I
can do a quiche that's to die for."

Kerry raised an eyebrow and peered at Luke suspiciously across the
table. She then shrugged and smiled, displaying a piece of lettuce stuck
between her two front teeth.  The image reminded Luke of a bunny rabbit
he'd had as a small child.  He'd loved his bunny Kylie, named after
Kylie Minogue who'd he'd always admired, and had been devastated when
Bob Fisher from next door had run over her on his Vespa.  Thinking about
it almost brought tears to Luke;s eyes.  "Excellent," Kerry commented,
"you'll be able to do all the cooking then.  What a save.  I fucking
hate cooking.  It's mugs work."

"I like to cook," Luke murmured politely, wishing that Kerry hadn't felt
compelled to swear.  It was, after all, neither big or clever.  "It's a
good way to unwind after work.  One day I'm going to own a big kitchen
full of stainless steel appliances and..."

Yeah, yeah," Kerry interrupted, waving her hand dismissively.  "Sounds
great.  So long as we get along with your poncy kitchen a spa and a
sauna for me.  We all have our own versions of luxuries Luke."

"Of course we do," Luke agreed, idly wondering what planet Kerry was
from. Hang on.  He knew!  He'd read about it in a book once.  Women were
from Venus.  Or was it Mars?  He couldn't quite remember.  Oh well.  It
didn't matter.  Kerry was as entitled to her dreams as he was to his.
"Would you like some dessert?" he asked, thinking the time had come to
change the topic.  Unless Mystic Reg was right in his predictions both
his kitchen and her sauna were only pipe dreams anyway.

Kerry wanted desert, Of course, and ordered death by chocolate.   It was
the most expensive desert on the menu.  Luke ordered a cappuccino.  It
made him feel all grown up.  Good coffee was one of the things he'd
missed most in Africa.  When the dastardly looking chocolate concoction
came Kerry ate it all without offering him any.  For some reason this
hurt Luke's feelings. If it had been his he would have offered it
around.  He was generous like that.  When she'd finished she pushed the
plate away and let rip with a most unladylike burp.  Luke wanted to get
under the table as all the other patrons turned to stare at them.  Kerry
found the attention amusing though and laughed merrily, her breasts
jiggling independently in her flimsy dress. She wasn't wearing a bra.

"I take it you enjoyed the meal then," he muttered through clenched
teeth, yet again wishing he'd gone to the pub with the others.  Even
having Des tell him that he was so stupid that he wouldn't know if his
arse was on fire for the fifth time that day would have been preferable
to being the laughing stock of the restaurant.  Luke suddenly felt
miserable.  Once again he'd made the wrong choice.  Kerry was a
perfectly nice, if somewhat crude, girl. But was she the one for him?!
It was times like this that he didn't think so.

Luke suddenly realised with an intensity that made him ache inside that
he longed to be with Craig.  Craig wouldn't have burped, nor would he
have shovelled all the desert in without offering him any.  Maybe he
would have even fed him some across the table, like the two dogs in that
Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp.  Luke smiled to himself.  The thought
making him happier than he'd been all evening.

"Whatcha smiling about Big Boy?" Kerry purred, the pointy toe of her
fuck me boots suddenly coming in a tad too forceful contact with Luke's
shin.  The gesture was meant to be sensual but Luke merely found it
bruising.  "Don't tell me, let me guess.  Your thinking about what you
want to do to me once we get out of this dive."

This 'dive' happened to be one of Luke's favourite restaurants and Kerry
dissing it further soured his mood.  His smile died on his lips and he
abruptly signalled the waiter, the one with the pert backside, to bring
the tab.  "Wasn't thinking about anything," he murmured, moving his legs
away from Kerry's probing foot.

Kerry shrugged, once again causing her breasts to jiggle and the eyes of
the man on the opposite table to nearly pop out of his head.  Luke
wished she'd at least worn a bra.  "So, your place or mine?" she queried
loudly, running her pink tongue around her lips and winking lavisciously
at Luke.

Luke thought fast.  Having seen quite enough of Kerry's breasts for one
evening he had no real desire to see any more of them.  "I've actually
got... ah... a bit of a headache," he lied weekly, taking the bill from
the waiter, his eyes straying to his really very nice arse.  "So...
ah... sorry Kerry but I'm gonna have to beg off the rest of the evening.
After taking you home I think I'll just pop a couple of Nurofen and go
to bed."

"You think I got all dressed up like this for the evening to end here?"
Kerry pouted, shaking her head.  "Not fucking likely.  You can drop me
off at Magenta's on the way home.  I wanna dance."

"Fine," Luke murmured, relieved to be so easily let off the hook.  "I
really am very sorry.  Just let me know how I can make it up to you
and..."

"Yeah.  Whatever," Kerry interrupted bluntly, standing up and picking up
her handbag.  "Well, come on then.  It's free entry if I get there
before ten."

"Luke nodded.  "I'll just pay up and be right with you."  He didn't mind
paying.  It was the gentlemanly thing to do.  And Luke liked to think of
himself as a gentleman.  He knew he sometimes did things that went
against this but he tried.

After paying the tab, and leaving a decent tip for the waiter, Luke
walked Kerry back to his car.  He was saved from deciding whether or not
to attempt to put his arm around her by Kerry striding ahead of him.
She appeared to be in mood and he wondered whether she was premenstrual.

They didn't talk in the car.  Not a word.  This had a lot to do with the
fact that Kerry was reapplying her lipstick.  Luke didn't mind.  He
liked the silence.  Reaching Magenta's they shared a perfunctory kiss
and then Kerry was gone.  And Luke was alone.

Without thinking he turned the car  in the direction of Craig's house.
He didn't really know why.  All he knew was that he felt a driving need
to see him.  He wished he knew what he'd say once he got there but he
didn't. Sorry didn't seem enough.  Nor did begging for assistance to
help work through his confusion.  Being with Kerry tonight had just
helped reinforce the mistake he was making.  What he felt for Kerry
wasn't the same as what he felt for Craig.  Kerry didn't make him feel
the way that Craig did.  He didn't, as much as he wanted to, love Kerry.

Reaching Craig's house Luke was dismayed to discover that his car wasn't
in the drive.  He wasn't home and Luke sighed dejectedly.  Damn.
Although he hadn't known what he was going to say he'd been counting on
finding Craig at home.

His evening now ruined beyond repair Luke did a u-turn and headed for
home, futile tears of misery springing into his beautiful, expressive
eyes.

Why did everything have to be so hard?


Chatper Three

That wasn't the only thing that was hard.  Not all that far away in the
deserted heat of the carpark the man who was the love of Lukes life
without either of them realising was groaning at the touch of PC Gary
Best.  Craig had always known the younger man wasn't shy, he'd exibited
his extensive libido at the station, but he hadn't been prepared for the
feverish way hed responded after their kissing, especially for him to
take the lead.  "What now", he'd murmured after there lips had broken
apart, gasping reluctantly at the cold air, "perhaps you'd better just
go home Gary. You don't know what you're getting into".

Gary had just smiled wickedly, his dark eyes twinking in the blackness
like a wicked pixie or an evil cherub, only older.  "Or what I'm getting
out of," he said eyeing Craigs now unbuttoned shirt meaningfully.
"That's the whole point of exploring isnt it sarge"?

As his hands strayed to Craigs buttons under his belt, Craig's sharp
intake of breath distracted him. "If you're serious about this."

"Oh I'm serious all right" said Gary and pushed Craig back against the
car so his back was against it.  "And you'd better be too, chatting me
up like that.  Or else..." He dropped to his knees, the undertone of
sexual menice in his voice sending a frisson through the Sargenat even
stronger than the one coursing through his veins from the touch of the
young mans cool fingers under his
knickers.  Gary had got the zipper down in record time and was now at
eye level with his hardened penis.  Craig wasn't one for public sex, he
thought it was a bit demeaning but knees must when the devil drives, he
thought, and some things were worth going to Hell for.
"...serious about this, he continued, his breathe now coming in short
pants like a rutting schoolboy discovering himself for the first time,
"then you'd better call me... oh God... Craig", his awareness dissolved
and all he could think of whas Garys hot mouth on his concrete-hard
shaft.  "Shut up Craig" said Gary heatedly, alternating long licks of
his tong along the penis and sucking on the older mans balls.  He
thought about fingering him with the other hand but maybe that would be
moving too fast, he wanted to make this last.  He had him right where he
wanted him after all.  "This isn't the office, I'm in charge now, is
that clear"?  He squeezed the head to make his point taking it out of
his mouth first and grinning portentously at the purple head which had
swollen and leaked precum everywhere.  Craig opened his eyes and looked
down, thinking that the faint light from the end of the car park
gleaming on Garys wet lips and the moist organ in his hand was the most
beautiful thing hed seen in a long time, even more beautiful than Luke
in the shower.  He shook his head and threw that thought out of his
mind, this was far more pressing on his attention.  And much more
rewarding if he was honest with himself.  Yes, he thought fiercely, it
is time to be honest, isn't it.  Unlike some.  He gave himself up to the
sensation and breathed "Yes" raggedly, almost inaudible in the night.

"Yes what?" said Gary menicingly, stroking him with hard movements and
making him even more rigid, like a crankshaft or a piston, which was the
image behind his eyes. He would fuck his boss like a piston tonight, see
if he didn't.  "Yes..."

"Yes... sir?" guessed Craig gasping at another squeeze and the feel of
teeth lightly grazing the base of his cock. "Yes...master"?

"Sir will do," said Gary, suddenly seeming much older and firmer than he
had before.  It was as if a personality had shifted behind his eyes, and
if Craig had been watching he might have thought of it as if a being of
immense sexuality was inhabiting his velvety white skin.  He'd learned a
lot from his father, although he didn't let himself think about his
violent past, it had formed his character as surely as something truly
inevitable.  It was one reason he had moved to London, even his mother
had suspected eventually but she would never see the extent of his
scarring inside, and he never hurt anybody else.  Gary was a good man,
he only ever did roleplay with willing people.  His girfriend had
understood but got tired of it after a while, he'd been very hurt until
a recent case had shown she was a bitch anyway and being a prostitute
she had no right to complain, and at least he'd never murdered anyone
not like her.  In a way this chance excited him a lot, after all he was
totally straight, but exploring was part of the same thing wasn't it?
The power was the same no matter who you fucked, he'd sometimes imagined
he'd have to pretend he was with a woman when he did this, but his own
exitement told him that wasn't going to be necessary.  He could enjoy
Craig for what he was, every inch of a man who would be only too willing
to play ball.  He dropped one hand between his own legs and started
squeezing.  "You will do what I say, is that clear?"

Craig could only nod, being nearly on the brink.  He could feel the cold
night air on his niples which were hard and pink.  Gary could see them
from where he was kneeling and smiled cruelly, reaching up to tweek them
hard and enjoying the moans from the older man.

"Turn around" said Gary.  He stood up and pressed himself into Craig as
he did so, enjoying the thrill of the sound of the Welshaman gasping as
his hot hard cock made contact with the cool metal of the car. "You like
that don't you, little slut", he stroked Craig's hair while he said it,
"don't you".  He made sure to press hard so that Craigs heavy testicals
rubbed against the long metal strip alongside the car.  He'd heard them
called dick strips but hadn't wondered why until now, it was ironic the
use they were putting it to. Craig arched his back at the touch of the
cold metal which was warm now from the contact of his sweating writhiong
skin.

"Yes" said Craig almost begging, he'd done things like this when he was
younger maybe once or twice but he'd been very staid and faithful since
then, not even picking up people really.  He'd dated Sean for months
before they even went to bed, this was a real departure for him.  A
change is as good as a rest he thought with guilty pleasure, and
something in him exulting at the rebellion this represented for him.
"Yes please."

"Tell me your safe word" hissed Gary menicingly, as he slid his fingers
wet from Craigs precum into his mouth, letting the Welshaman taste
himself, the idea excited them both tremendously.  Craig said "Luke"
without thinking, then kicked himself blushing beet red, although Gary
didn't notice as he was already flushed with desire.  "Luke" said Gary,
"luke it is then." he didn't stop to wonder about why his supperior had
chosen that word, he knew Welsh people went to church a lot, and it was
clear his boss had a literary bent anyway.  It made sense, so he
chuckled.  "I see, like... Matthew..." sliding one wet finger wet with
Craigs spit into his waiting hole, having first slid his trousers down
to the ground and made him step out of them... "Mark..." sliding in a
second one and getting even more rockhard as he watched Craig push back
into the feel of it.  "Luke...." he added the third, whispering "take
it, you little tart" into his ear, alternating his other hand on himself
undoing his fly and holding Craig against the car by the back of his
neck.  "And... oooh god... John" he pulled out and shoved his cock in
dry, but Craig was so wet now that it didn't matter, it didn't hurt any
more than he wanted it to.  He was glad there were only four apostles,
it worked out nicely! Thank god, he hadn't chosen the disciples, he'd
have run out of fingers.  Although that could have got very
...interesting, he thought.  Smiling at the thought he thrust hard into
the sergeant, murmuring obsenities and riding him with great abandon.

It didn't take long for Craig to cum all over the side of the car, he
was so excited by the things Gary was saying, and even the shameful
insults and petty namecalling really turned him on, which they wouldn't
in real life but this seemed like a dream almost so he gave himself up
to it.  Here they were in the middle of a very busy urban town and the
car park was deserted, the only companion to their love making was cars
with horrible disco music or hard rock passing by in the distance, and
the wind in the buildings.  Craig relaxed, it was curiously liberating,
he shut his eyes and concentrated on getting hard again as he could feel
Gary still piledriving into him.  This boy was full of surprises.  He
was very deliberately not feeling guilty about this, he deserved it
after the last months of cockteasing by Luke Ashton, although he
supposed it wasn't really.  Still he'd never give him this!  He knew
that instinctively, he tried not to think about what Luke would feel
like under him, he'd never be on top probably even if he wasn't such a
... aah, lying little slut.  Calling Luke names in his head was foreign
to him, but he was surprised to find it only adding to his arousal which
was rapidly coming to a head again as Gary groaned out his climax and
spent himself inside his sergeant.  He brought one hand down and clamped
the other over Garys, making them milk him together to a second climax,
gasping out Luke's name without fear or embarrassment.  Gary was pleased
to oblige and came a second time too, from the thrill of the power he
held over this older man.

Afterwards they stayed pressed against the car for a short time,
regaining their strength.  "Thank you sir.." whispered Craig, when he
had recovered.  "I didn't say you could speak," said Gary, but his heart
wasn't in it any longer, he always felt a yawning pit after he had
exercised his demons in this way, but also a surprising tenderness for
his partners.  It was interesting to find that the same thing happened
with a man.  In some ways it was so much better, perhaps they could do
this again.  But he didn't voice the desire, he was in half a mind not
to say anything at all and just run from this new discovery of himself,
but didn't.  He was careful to withdraw gently from Craig's body,
cleaning himself up and dressing again, and when he looked up Craig had
done the same and was wiping the car down with his discarded tie.

Gary kept his masterful persona on and looked hard at Craig, saying "We
will do this again, slave, and next time you will be on your knees."
Craig despite his better judgement felt a frisson of energy down his
recently naked spine and bowed his eyes, it was a silent agreement.  He
bit back all the questions burning in his brain and agreed, saying "You
will tell me when, sir?"  Gary nodded coldly, and walked off with a
straight back into the darkness, his eyes gleaming and sated.  Craig
watched him go, marvelling at the power of the younger man.
He leaned back against the car, savouring the ache in his violated hole,
feeling tendrils of arousal again as he recalled Gary's tender obscene
words.  They'd got to him in a way nobody, not even Luke had ever done
before, it was a totally new side of himself and he knew instinctively
it was worth exploring.  Sean had sometimes been masterful, but this....
He realised they hadn't spoken about what they'd to at the nick, but
there really wasn't any need when he thought about it.  He knew without
thinking they'd both keep the secret, Gary was headstrong of course and
prone to talking like most young men but this wasn't the conquest of
some bird.  They'd shared a magic darkness between them, which didn't
overlap with their real, daylight lives.  He thought long and hard on
the drive home, with Abba playing in the background to soothe his
emotions.  He was so deep in thought he didn't even see Luke's car as he
passed it on the highway, and in some ways even if he had seen him he
wouldn't have recognised him, being so lost in thought.

By the time he pulled himself into his driveway he had made up his mind,
this didn't interfere with how he felt about Luke, and that wasn't going
anywhere anyway, so perhaps it wasn't a betrayal?  He knew it could be
dutch courage talking, the bravado and the high of being fucked so
thoroughly by a gorgeous hard young master, but if it looked different
in the morning, then so be it.  For now he was just tired and contented
and fulfilled.  He stroked himself to sleep slowly, reliving every
moment of the exciting encounter and speculating over what Gary had in
store for him next time.  Suddenly life looked alot more interesting.


Chapter Four

Luke walked into Sun Hill Nick, his soul as heavy as the Adidas backpack
containing his clean uniform that was slung nonchalantly over his firm
shoulders.  He hadn't slept well and wished somewhat fervently that he
wasn't on early turn.  Right now there was nowhere else Luke would
rather be than at home, in bed, cocooned in the quilt grandma Ashton had
made for him before succumbing to senile dementia and forgetting who he
was.  She called him Tristan now.  After his uncle that had died
fighting for his country in WW2.  It was very sad.  Luke hoped he never
grew old and senile.  For someone who was once so strong and proud to be
reduced to a dribbling incontinent shell just broke his heart.  Luke
made a mental note to call in at Silver Pines, the nursing home grandma
Ashton had been calling home for the past four years, and pay his
beloved grandmother a visit.  He hadn't seen her since returning from
Africa.  Maybe he'd even call round in his uniform.  She'd like that.

Luke hadn't slept well and subsequently was feeling rather weary.  What
little sleep he had managed to catch had been interrupted with
disturbing dreams about Kerry's breasts.  In one they'd been trying to
suffocate him.  He'd woke up screaming.  And sweating.  In the end he'd
decided it was probably easier if he didn't try to sleep at all and
ended up staring as the clock radio on the bedside table ticked ever
closer to getting up time.  When he wasn't worrying about the effect
Kerry had on him he was worrying about the effect Craig had on him.  He
knew that he was lucky to have two very special people in his life and
that he was in danger of hurting both of them if he didn't finally wake
up to himself.  Dilemmas didn't sit well on Luke.  He liked the quite
life and longed for the time where he'd know both himself and where he
stood in life.
Craig or Kerry.

Kerry or Craig.

Straight or gay or bi or just plain confused!?!?

Luke wished he knew the answers of the heart.  Especially the key to his
own.  Sometimes he even wished he'd never come back to Sun Hill and had
just stayed in Africa.  Life was simple there.  Sure it was full of
misery and the latest Play Station games never got out there, but it was
still a far simpler way of life.  By the time he'd crawled into his bed
every night Luke had been too knackered to so much as consider affairs
of the heart.  He'd even been too tired to pleasure himself.  Oh yeah.
Life had been simple in Africa.  There were less mosquitoes in Sun Hill
though.  Which was nice.  TV was better too.  Big Brother.  Wow.  Now
there was a show.

What made things harder for Luke was his longing to be loved.  When he
was a little boy he used to daydream about someone coming along and
sweeping him of his feet, declaring their undying love for him and
looking after him for ever.  Looking back, Luke realized that the
'someone' in his fantasies  was neither exclusively female nor male.
The one thing they always had in common though was that they loved him
and him they.  Although he knew it wasn't a very masculine or pc -- no
pun intended!! -- thing to say Luke sometimes wondered whether he'd been
born in the wrong day and age and that he was really meant to be a
contented and loving housewife in the fifties.  Not that he'd ever share
this feeling with anyone.  They'd only laugh at him.  And if there was
one thing Luke could live without it was being laughed at.  As it was it
was something he was only far to used too.

Eyes downcast, Luke shuffled his way to the locker room.  His hope that
the room would be empty and he could get changed in peace was shattered
the minute he slowly pushed the door open.  Sitting on the bench under
the pamphlets highlighting current police initiatives -- or stating the
bleedin' obvious, as Nick liked to call them -- sat Des Taviner.  He had
his head in his hands.  Unless Luke was mistaken he was blushing so
intensely that even the top of his head was an out of character rose
colour.  Next to Des hovered Reg.  Luke could see that Reg, his lips
pursed and his expression one of kind hearted concern, was in serious
mother hen mode.

"It's okay, Des.  Honest.  I don't mind.  In fact, it's perfectly
normal.  I was reading up on it on the net, that's the *internet*, of
course, and statistics point to it being highly likely to occur to men
in your age group.  Now, Tony, that's Tony from Herbs For Life, you
know, the shop on the high street, not PC Stamp, said to me that…"

Luke tried not to listen to Reg and, nodding a curt greeting to Gary,
who was lurking suspiciously close to Luke's locker, started to get
changed.  Gary watched him closely, a knowing smile tugging at the
corner of his lips.  The probationer's seering gaze made Luke feel
uncomfortable.  As did the cold and calculating look in his eyes.

"Look Reggie-Babe!  Not bleedin' now!  Okay?"  Having had enough
apparently unwanted advice for the time being Des jumped to his feet
and, shoving Luke in the process, barged out of the locker room.  With
Reg in hot pursuit.  Of course.  It was as though the pair of them were
attached at the hip!

Alone with Gary, Luke glanced hopefully at the probationer, mentally
willing him to go off and find Tony.  Luke didn't really like Gary.
He'd tried to warm to the young man but was beginning to resign himself
to it being a lost cause.  If he'd been such a self righteous know-it-
all as a probationer he was surprised that Tony hadn't picked him up by
the collar and shook a few home truths into him.  Luke smiled warily,
telling himself firmly that giving Gary another chance was the only
right thing to do.  "Alright?" he murmured, shrugging out of his denim
jacket and hanging it carefully in his locker.

"Alright," Gary replied, the knowing smile on his face giving way to a
fully firmed smirk.  "You missed a… *interesting*… night last night,
Luke.  A *very* interesting night.  You know, I never had any idea how…
*compelling*… Craig could be."

"Sergeant Gilmore," Luke corrected, looking away from Gary and
concentrating on fastening his tie to his crisp white uniform shirt.
For some reason he felt a flare of jealousy ignite in the pit of his
stomach at Gary's casual, almost dismissive use of Craig's first name.
"I'm glad you had a nice evening."

"You know *sergeant* Gilmore pretty well, don't you?" Gary queried, all
chummy like.  "You should have come with us.  We had a very interesting
conversation about sexuality.  Pausing, Gary laughed, an evil malevolent
sound that wouldn't have been out of place in a Hammer Horror film.
"Believe it or not I think I may have even taught Gilmore a thing or
too."

"Really?  That's… ah… very interesting," Luke muttered, throwing his
backpack into his locker and slamming the door shut.  The sound of metal
impacting on metal reverberated around the small room.  "Look Gary, it's
been… ah.. nice talking to you but I've… ah… gotta go find… ah… Cass
before parade.  So, I'll. Ah see ya around!"  With that and without
bothering to wait for a response, Luke strode out of the locker room,
his vision tinged a sickly shade of green.  He didn't know what Gary was
trying to imply and, what's more, he didn't want to know!  It wasn't
like he had any claim on Craig's heart.

He just thought he had.  That's all.  No.  More than that.  He'd
*hoped*.
Wanting to put as much distance between himself and the probationer as
he could Luke barreled down the corridor, not looking where he was
going.  Because of this he only just managed to look up in time to see
Craig strolling out of his office.  Slowing down, Luke plastered a happy
smile on his face, told himself forcefully not to worry about Gary, the
probationer was just being a twat, and greeted his sergeant cheerfully.
"Morning Sarge!" Luke beamed, trying to ignore how pale and tired Craig
looked.  "Gary was just telling me what an interesting evening the pair
of you had."

Craig paled further, his eyes unable to meet Luke's and leaving the
young man to hope he wasn't coming down with something.  "Not now Luke!"
Craig exclaimed hoarsely, nervously shuffling the sheaf of papers he
held in his hands and striding past.  Turning around, Luke watched
Craig's back -- and very attractive butt -- until he disappeared around
the corner.  He wondered whether their was something on Craig's mind and
hoped that he wasn't somehow to blame.  Luke knew he'd upset Craig in
the past, unintentionally, of course, and hoped never to be the cause of
the older man's unease ever again.  Although it wasn't something Luke
had ever thought about in great detail before he knew in his heart of
hearts that he'd do anything for Craig.

His mood sinking to even lower depths than when he'd crawled out of bed
this morning, Luke continued along the corridor, once again not looking
where he was going.  His head full of confusing thoughts he didn't know
that he'd ran into anyone until delicate hands caught him, saving him
from the indignity of falling on his arse.  To his dismay it was Kerry.
Out of the fire and into the fat, Luke thought wryly.  He hadn't want to
talk To Kerry.  Not yet anyway, not until he'd had a chance to sort
things out in his mind once and for all.   One glance at Kerry's too
bright eyes told him that she'd really made a night of it at Magenta's.
Her eyes looked like Nicks.  Only less primate like.  Then again Luke
had seen monkeys in Africa that looked less primate like than Nick did.
A fan of the comic, X Men, Luke couldn't help but amuse himself with the
thought that Nick actually shared his DNA with a monkey.  It would,
after all, explain not only his appearance but also a good many of his
characteristics.  Luke didn't want to believe the station gossip but he
was beginning to suspect that Nick had a slight drug problem.  He hoped
that the older officer hadn't been having a negative impact on Kerry.
Contrary to what Nick might think drugs weren't something to be taken
lightly.  You could die taking them.  People did.  He'd seen them.  It
wasn't pretty.

"Lukie!" Kerry screeched, her shade of lipstick far too bright for both
the time of morning and the blue of her uniform.  "There you are, honey.
You missed a great night last night.  Magenta's was well *wicked*!  Man,
some of the dancers there…"  She fanned herself and winked.  "Talk about
hot!  One in particular, man, could he shake it with the best of them."

Self-preservation calling to him, Luke took a step back.  Although he
hopped he was wrong his coppers eye told him that Kerry most likely had
taken an Ecstasy.  Or 'E', as they were known on the streets.  She was
wired, 'loved up'.  Going by her rumpled appearance he doubted that
she'd even been home.  Luke sighed and began to wish whole heartedly
that he'd pulled a sickie today.

"Come on Kerry," he murmured gently, tentatively reaching out to touch
the WPC on the shoulder.  "How about I get you a coffee?"  If Chandler
saw her like this he'd do his rag.
"Don't wanna coffee," Kerry pouted, her lipsticked lips a parody of a
clowns smile.  "Want You!!!"

"Kerry, I really think…"  The rest of Luke's entreaty died on his lips
as Kerry, the Ecstasy doing unnatural things to her hormones, lunged at
Luke and, pinning him against the wall, crushed his lips with hers.  To
Luke it was like his dream all over again.  Only this was her lips, not
her breasts.  And it was real.  He felt as though he was being
suffocated and struggled vainly to extricate himself.  Not wanting to
hurt Kerry with his greater strength he tried to wriggle gently.  Given
how desperate he was to get away it wasn't easy.
Because he was so occupied with trying to free himself he didn't see the
expression on Craig's face as the older man walked innocently around the
corner.  If he had he would have wanted to floor to open up beneath him
and swallow him whole.
==============================================
=================
Chatper Five
Craig felt the same, although from where he was standing it looked as it
if was Kerry who was swallowing Luke whole.  She was certainly atacking
him with gusto and from what he could see Luke was returning the favour,
rubbing himself all over her.  His hands were waving a bit, Craig took
that to mean that he was telling any onlookers to go away and did so,
flabbergasted at the sight.  If this was what it looked like Luke wasn't
confused at all he was having a go.  It felt as if the rug was pulled
out from under him.

Cursing his own emotions, Craig hurried to the sergeants office, then
turned on his heel and changed his mind seeing June in there with Jim
Carver of all people, arguing again. It seemed like they couldn't keep a
civil tong in their heads to each other these days,  something he might
have found quite entertaining normally but he didn't have the heart for
it now.  In turmoil he noted there was a good ten minutes till parade,
so he went to compose himself in a quiet corner.  Apart from the cells
there weren't really any, so he ended up taking refuge in the uniform
bathroom.  Not a very pleasant place to be normally but he was so upset
it didn't seem to matter.

Stop it he told himself, staring up at the ceiling in despair.  He was
far too old to be this dependent on the interest of some bloke, even one
as hunky as Luke.  What a cruel joke, not just that he had fallen for
him in the first place but that he was playing him like this!
Half of his rational mind told him that it wasn't possible, Luke simply
wasn't that complicated.  His emotional feelings told him a very
different story, however.  He felt betrayed and lost, he'd never felt so
alone in his life.  What wouldn't he give for someone to talk to?  It
had to be deliberate, if it wasn't it was even more unfair.  The
heartfelt need from comfort was so pronounced he even thought madly to
call his old boyfriend Sean who he'd recently broken up with for a
minute but thought better of it.  "Pull yourself together, Craig", he
told himself.  "Your supposed to be in charge, some sergeant you are if
you fall apart with no reason."  Especially, as he thought guiltily Luke
was probably only been doing what he himself had done - or should that
be been done by! -- last night.  I should be thinking "good luck to him"
he thought sourly as his body stirred against his will, "he doesn't owe
me anything, any more than I do.  There's nothing between us for heavens
sake".

Unfortunately in his heart he couldn't persuade himself that was true.
He sat there for a time, staring blankly at the graffiti about his
colleagues.  These bathrooms had escaped the worst of the fire that had
killed six people, and they held a lot of history.  Some of the names
meant nothing to him, others like a scrawled note about Ben Haywood only
reminded him what they had stood for.  He was a police officer for
heaven's sake!  And he had to face the people they had left behind, in
less than five minutes.  He had to be the leader they thought he was,
that they expected.  People were still fragile, it was up to him to set
an example and leave his private life at home were it belonged.  The
thought strengthened his resolve sufficiently, and he stood resolving to
put this behind him for now, at least.  He let himself out of the
cubical and crossed to the mirror, staring himself right in the eyes and
willing himself to face the troops and ignore Luke.  "Come on Gilmour,
you can do it", he said under his breath.

"Oh, I can attest to that," said a quiet knowing voice behind him.
Craig spun around, he hadn't noticed anyone coming.  To his surprise
Garry was leaning against the side wall near the hand dryer, with his
arms crossed and an insolent simile on his face.  His collar was
unbuttoned, his tie was loose and the luminous white hollow at the base
of his neck peeked out suggestively.  He didn't have to move to show
that the way he stood coyly emphasised his groin.

He could only assume that he was there to provoke him, but whatever the
effect it worked like a charm.  Craig was immediately the consummite
professional.  "What do you want, PC Best", he enunciated in
authoritarian tones.  Gary said nothing, but unfolded his arms and
walked insolently towards him.  "Guess."  His smile looked almost cruel
under the harsh central lighting, the shadows over his eyes highlighting
his long dark lashes in a very sensual way.  He stepped even closer,
stopping only a few cm from the older man and looking up at him calmly.

The space between them seemed boiling over with heat, despite the cold.
Craig cursed inwardly as a streak of desire shot through him, forgetting
his inner turmoil.  It seemed that his mind and heart and body were
almost schizophrenic in there conflicting needs.  It was like being a
teenager again, looking at his mates day by day with the twin eyes of a
freindship he could be open about and a sweet carnality he couldn't.
Although he had to admit there was a delicious edge to it, in a way it
seemed even more forbidden than fancying Luke.  "I hardly think this is
the time," he said quietly, looking intently into the younger man's
eyes.
Gary smiled mysteriously enjoying the hold he was having over Craig.  He
said "I know.  Which makes it...," without a word he stretched up gently
and touched his lips to Craigs, biting him very gently but firm enough
to send a very clear message, and a violent shiver throughout Craig's
anticipating body.  "...just perfect."  He backed away, slowly, his eyes
glued to Craig's.  It felt as though there were flames dancing between
them and his body was covered in little fries.

"Refs.  Storage shed." he said, with heavy emphasis, then turned and
left the room with the easy loping gait he was known for, leaving Craig
speechless in the middle of the room.  He let out a breath he hadnt'
realised he was holding, feeling almost giddy.  It was all too much to
take in, and what a risk!  His natural professionalism and caution told
him to ignore what had just happened, but the sensual part of him that
thrilled to the menicing promise knew he'd wouldn't dare.  He wondered
idly what would happen if he decided to be a little late.

Late! "Oh my god" he said, realising frantically that parade should have
started two minutes before, and he dashed out of the room and ran to the
meeting, slowing down half a corridor away so he'd arrive in a dignified
manner.  "Shit" he cursed inwardly, seeing Inspector Gina Gold was
waiting up the back of the room.  She watched him come in with an
unreadable expression, and he knew he must look flustered.  Thankfully
the arousal the kiss and thinking about Luke before that had produced
had subsided by now.  Stalking to the front of the room, he glared at
Nick and Cass who were discussing Pink Floyd lyrics with contempt and
making remarks about Cathy Bradford's all together inappropriate t-shirt
which she was wearing for some CSU work, it drew far to much attention
to her.

He demanded silence.  Looking around the relief as he read out the work
assignments he was composed enough not to stop short as he realised a
miserable looking Luke was sitting next to Kerry.  If he didn't now
better he'd say the boy was trying to put distance between them.  Well,
he's good at that, he thought sourly.  He tried his best not to look at
them, or at the supremely confident form of Gary Best sitting on Luke's
other side, whispering to him.  He thought he could handle it until Luke
whispered back, clearly trying hard not to look at him or the giggly
blonde next to him.

It was just too much for him, after everything.  "Have you got something
to say, Luke?" he snapped abruptly, slamming his clipboard down on a
handy table.  "Perhaps you'd like to share it with the relief?"

Luke looked up at him in startlement, and in the split second before his
face settled into a petulant expression of unfairness, Craig could have
sworn he was looking at unguarded interest again.  For a second the boy
had looked almost trapped, and as if he was a rescuer arrived in the
nick of time.  It was an apealing image but far too loaded.  He glared
at Gary, who smirked meaningfully back at him unseen by anyone else. He
decided it wasn't worth pursuing.  It would only draw attention to
himself, and the last thing he needed was an intensifying of Gina's
quizical gaze.  He returned to the announcements and completed the rest
of the parade, hurrying out before she could take him to task for
picking on the boy.  Sometimes he thought she saw altogether too much,
and he didn't want today to be one of those.


Charter Six

The rest of the day went quickly, with a few nuisance callouts and some
drunks from the night before being sick in the cells, but nothing much
really happened apart from a couple of assualts.  Craig was custardy
sergeant for that day it was a bit of a relief as he found his office
and the way people could just walk past and look into it, especially
Gary and Luke who were on CAD together, just a bit claustrophopic.  Tony
was in court otherwise Gary would have been out with him.  He didn't
like the idea of them being so close together in some ways but at least
they'd be out of his sight! And under supervision, Matt Boyden seemed to
be quite capable of handling them both at the same time.  Perhaps that
was all they needed, he thought with a sigh.  Some discipline.  He was
sure Matt could provide it, he could be very masterful when he wanted.

On the other hand it was deadly dull downstairs, with only crying toms
and CID in a bad temper for company.  They never liked being dragged out
of bed this early and tended to take it out on the prisoners let alone
the poor staff!.  He tried not to clockwatch, but used the time to think
quietly over his situation.   It was a dilemma again, he sighed
inwardly.  Should he perhaps try and talk to Luke, perhaps apologise,
although he couldn' think what for.  He hadn't done anything, but… he
sighed again.  Perhaps it was best left alone.  Even thinking about
getting involved would be trouble, although he wished someone would tell
his heart that!  But on the other hand there was even MORE potential
trouble with PC Gary Best, although to be fair it would be a hell of a
lot of fun getting into it.  But he was a probationer!  He shuddered to
think what the top bras would do to him if they found out, even just
crossing ranks would be bad enough, but this.

On the other hand, at least he seemed discrete in a way Luke wasn't, not
emotionally anyway, certainly not as regards actual public activity!
Something inside said Garry was all to familiar with taking risks and
could look after himself, although the same voice said that could be a
bad thing, if looking after himself meant baling on Craig.  But at least
he could be trusted not to talk about it or to backbite him in front of
otter people. No, he mused, it seemed Gary had much better uses for his
mouth than shooting off, although he obviously knew a thing or two about
that to!

As the time for the assignation approached he made up his mind not to
make a decision, telling himself it'd be madness.  On the other hand
deep inside he knew hed already decided, the same way he had about Luke.
It was no surprise to find himself ambling towards the storage sheds in
the burnt out area of the wrecked yard when the time came.  Garry wasn't
there, and he waited nervously around the back of the shed hoping that
he couldn't be seen out of the old CID windows or the new bits being
built.  He couldn't help being excited by the prospect, and the insanity
of the risk they were taking only made things better.  He rather liked
the idea of being fucked rotten unseen near Chandlers window.

When he heart tentative steps on the rubble behind the shed approaching,
he knew what would be expected of him and lowered his eyes.  Best not to
speak until he was spoken to!  The pair of feet approached him and stood
close by, he didn't dare look up.  It was very silent apart from normal
street noises, and the quiet simply made him more aroused.  Hmm, Best by
name and best by nature, he thought.  However it seemed to go on too
long, so he thought he might be mistaken, Gary would have said something
by now.  He half-dared to look up and saw that the feet stopped close by
him were wearing big heavy boots, not police issue at all.  Startled he
looked right up and into a heavyset face with a smirking sneer and a
tattoo of something he didn't get a good look at.  Later he would think
it could of been a bird but he would never be entirely sure.

"Are you Des Taviner?" said a deep voice in a rough accent eyeing him up
and
down with detached amusement, with clear emphasis at Craigs visible
hardness.   Craig flushed with embarrassment but  noted professionally
that
it was a local, but nobody he recognized.  Pretty cute though!  Before
he
could answer "N-" , a heavy tattooed fist swung round from nowhere and
whacked  him in the side of the head, knocking him down on to the
rubble.
"Well, if you aren't, give this to him!" said the voice, and threw down
a
folded note contemptuously.  It landed on Craigs chest.  He raised
fingers
to his face and they came away covered in blood.  It came off on the
note as
he reached for it, but the wind blew it away and he cursed himself for
contaminating the evidence even as the heavy boots slammed into him one
by
one, repeatedly.  He rolled over on the ground, trying and failing to
sheild
his already battered face with his hands, feeling very nauseaus as
something
inside his side cracked and broke and his legs refused to support him.
He
could see the faintest tinges of blood spattering up the assailants
muscular
legs, staining his jeans.

He almost didn't consioucsly recognize the footsteps of running feet
approaching.  He heard somebody shouting but couldn't tell who it was.
The
tall figure cursed and ran off surprisingly gracefully for a skinhead,
and
the shouts got closer.  He tried to pull himself up onto all fours but
collapsed again, with an involuntary moaning, his head spinning right
round
with the pain and confusion.  His last thought as he faded into
unconsciousness with a concerned Gary bending
over him was one of hysterical
laughter inside.  He knew he should be trying to stay awake and tell
them
about the note, not to mention identify the bastard who had done this to
him
but all he could think as the blackness came down was that he hoped his
hardon would disappear before anyone else noticed.



CHAPTER 7

"Aliens you say, Mrs Taylor?" Luke smiled gently at the elderly woman
standing on the other side of the front counter.  Mrs Taylor, who smelt
like nothing on earth and who thought nothing of wearing a fur coat over
a ratty silk evening dress that would have been new when the queen was a
little girl in the middle of the day, was a Sun Hill regular.  She was
also an unmedicated schizophrenic who when not sprouting off about
aliens was standing in the middle of the high street flashing the
drivers of the double decker buses. Only the double deckers.  Never the
single deck buses.  No one knew why.  Mrs Taylor, first name unknown,
was known to just about everyone is Sun Hill.  Apart from her offensive
smell and the terror she struck in the hearts of the bus drivers she was
essentially harmless.  Luke didn't mind dealing with her.  There but for
the grace of God go he and all that.

"Aliens!"  Mrs Taylor agreed, wagging a wrinkly finger at Luke.  "They
kidnapped Mr Tinky right out from underneath me nose they did.  Bleedin'
greys.  I'll get every last mother fucking one of them if it's the last
thing I ever do."

Luke nodded politely and wondered whether Mrs Taylor also suffered from
tourette's syndrome.  She looked about the same age as his grandmother
and she'd never sworn.  Not even when she still had her marbles.  "And
what is it that you'd like the police to do, Mrs Taylor?" Luke asked,
picking up a pen and feigning interest as Mrs Taylor prattled on.

As far as Luke was concerned Mrs Taylor could talk about aliens until
the end of shift.  Just about anything was preferable to being stuck in
Cad with Gary.  Luke didn't know what Gary's problem was but he knew
that the probation had one.  In fact he most likely had several.  Having
to work with him in Cad had been even more unpleasant than fending off
the E'ed up Kerry.  Once again Luke wished fervently that he'd never
bothered to get out of bed this morning.  Nothing was going right.  His
girlfriend was a wannabe drug addict who didn't appreciate the need of a
good bra, Craig didn't look well and appeared to be avoiding him, and
Gary seemed hellbent on going out of his way to disconcert him.  To Luke
Mrs Taylor and her talk of aliens made about as much sense as the rest
of his day had.  Maybe even more.

Gary.  Luke so didn't understand the probationer.  He'd kept shooting
him sly looks and making snide comments, making Luke feel distinctly
uncomfortable as he'd tried to concentrate on the incoming calls.  "It
was very interesting out with Craig…  oooops!… *sergeant* Gilmore last
night, you know, getting a fags perspective on things."  "So Luke, you
can trust me, have you ever been with a man?  "Ever thought of taking
Gilmore up on his offer.  You now the entire nick can see that he's
gagging for you."

In the end Boyden, who'd been trying to read his Playboy in peace,
intervened and sent Luke off to man the front desk.  Given that it was
Gary, not him, who'd been causing the disruption, Luke had almost
complained that it wasn't fair that he was the one to have to go.  One
look at Boyden's face however told him not to bother.  He was better off
away from both of them  Ignoring Kerry, who in her state probably would
have been just as happy to have tried it on with the first man she'd
seen, Mrs Taylor was the first person to look genuinely happy to see him
all day.  The fact that she kept calling him Reg was something Luke
tried valiantly to ignore.

The sound of the door slamming loudly behind him caused Luke to turn
away from Mrs Taylor.  To his surprise Cass had just bounced into the
front office.  She looked excited for some reason.  Luke hoped that
Kerry hadn't given her one of her E's.  "Hey Cass,' Luke murmured
tentatively.  "Can I help you with anything?"

Cass shook her head.  "Nope.  Just thought I'd come and share the
exciting news with you personally."

"What exciting news?"  Luke chastised himself for momentarily hoping
that an electrical surge had shot through the Cad, giving Gary a shock.
A big shock.  One with blue sparks and everything.  Like the Emperor did
to Luke Skywalker in Luke's favourite movie, Return of the Jedi.  He
particularly liked the Ewoks and still had a stuffed one somewhere in
his bedroom..  "What are you talking about Cass?"

"Ha!  I told Nick that the poor sod at the front desk is always the last
to know!" Cass declared triumphantly.  "It's Gilmore.  He's just had the
shit kicked out of him in the carpark."

Luke thought for all of a split second about seeking clarification
before spinning on his heels and bolting out of the office.  Mrs
Taylor's voice followed him, letting him know that she was none too
pleased with him abandoning her.  "Come back here ya little pansy!"

Craig!  Beaten.  Injured.  No!

Luke's legs felt week as, feeling as though he couldn't run fast enough,
he careened through the station.  Pushing roughly through the door
leading to the carpark, the sight of the ambulance with its flashing
lights made his gut clench reflexively.  Oh God…  No!  Worse still
though was the sight of Craig being lifted on the stretcher and being
placed in the back of the white van.  Because he was panicking Luke
couldn't even tell whether he was moving or not.

"Craig…"  The name slipped out breathlessly and unbidden from his lips.
"No…"

He reached the ambulance just in time for the paramedic to carefully
shut the doors, hiding Craig from his concerned gaze.  At his feet was a
sickeningly bright pool of blood, the sight of which nearly made Luke
throw up.  He stared numbly at the ambulance as it made its way slowly
out of the carpark, his world spinning on its axis.

"You know, if you'd only given the dog a bone… or perhaps that should be
*boner*, huh, this probably never would have happened."  The voice and
the hateful comments came from behind him.  Gary's voice was like shards
of glass embedding themselves in Luke's heart.

He turned around slowly.  "Excuse me?  What's this got to with me?"

"Wake up to yourself Lukie." Gary sneered, his face appearing to Luke as
that of Satan.  "Gilmore must have been out here to meet a trick.  I
mean, lurking around in the carpark?  Does that sound normal to you?"
Pausing, he shook his head mock sadly.  "Bet he looked like you.  Heh.
Never knew he liked it rough."

Seeing every shade of red there was, Luke threw himself at the
probationer, punching him hard in the face.  The sound of his nose
breaking was music to Luke's ears.

The sound of Inspector Golds voice however wasn't.  "PC ASHTON!  My
office!  NOW!  As for you PC Best, stop bleeding all over you're uniform
and go and wait for an FME.  If you're in luck one might even appear
before your off shift and its not our problem anymore."

"But Ma'am," Gary whined through blood and snot, his eyes boring into
Luke, telling him that this wasn't over, not by a long shot.  "PC Ashton
started it."

Inspector Gold shrugged.  "Tell someone who gives a toss," she snorted,
reaching out and grabbing Luke's tie in order to lead him inside like
that of someone taking their pet dog for walkies.  Not that he really
had any choice in the matter, Luke trailed after his Inspector
dutifully.  He was shaking like a leaf.

Two hours later, 90 minutes of which were spent alone in Inspector
Gold's office stewing on the error of his ways and terrifying himself
with the form her wrath would take, Luke walked out of the station.  He
knew he deserved the bollocking that she'd given him and hoped she
didn't hold the tears against him.  On the plus side, ignoring the fact
that Gary's nose was never going to be the same again, he knew that he'd
never be paired with the probationer again.  Violence was never the
answer but in the case it had worked out for the best.  He'd even scored
a health early minute and was going to go straight to Saint Hughes to
see Craig.  He had to see him!

Reaching Saint Hughes and making his way straight to admissions, Luke
was dismayed when the nurse on duty told him that Craig was still with a
doctor and wasn't able to have visitors.  He asked if he could wait and
she waved him dismissively in the direction of the small waiting room.
After thanking her Luke brought himself a cup of foul tasting coffee
from the vending machine and walked slowly into the waiting room.  It
was empty save for another man sitting slumped in one of the
uncomfortable chairs.  Luke smiled at him as he sat down but the man,
after looking him up and down through feline-shaped, very blue eyes,
didn't smile back.
Miffed, Luke fought the urge to poke his tongue out at the man and
picked up an antiquated copy of Hello! Off the chair next to him.  It
was so old it showed Ginger Spice when she was still Ginger Spice and
not just some anorexic blonde clone on the cover.  The magazine not
interesting him, Luke held it up his face so he could surreptitiously
check out the other man.  If he didn't look so unfriendly Luke would
have asked him where he got his leather jacket from.  Not, mind you,
that he thought he had a snowflakes chance in hell of being able to
afford one like it.  High gloss leather, good cut, it was exquisite.

Catching him looking at him, the man scowled and shifted in his seat.
As he did his jacket gaped at the sight, causing Luke to have heart
palpitations.
A gun!  He had a gun!

Given the day he was having Luke wasn't even surprised.  A policeman's
duty never done, Luke took a deep breath and stood up.  He knew he
should call for backup but, his mind more on Craig than anything else,
he didn't.  His heart pounding nervously in his chest, Luke walked over
to the man, came to stop in front of him, and cleared his throat.  "Um…
Excuse me…"  Luke berated himself for not having put more thought into
his actions.  "I'm a police officer and…"

"And?" the man drawled, interrupting Luke and glowering at him with
annoyance clearly written on his handsome face.  "Look, either say what
you want to say or just get the hell out of my face.  Being stuck here
sucks enough without you hovering over me."  His accent wasn't local.
Luke thought it to be American. It certainly explained the gun.  He also
wondered whether all Americans were this rude.

"You've got a gun," Luke stated firmly.  "And I'm going to have to ask
you to hand it over to me."

"And if I don't?"  The man now sounded amused and he smiled, displaying
dimples.
"Then I'm going to have to arrest you," Luke replied, steadfastly
standing his ground.  "When your in this country you've got to respect
our laws.  Just because you're a visitor doesn't mean…"

"For what it's worth I actually live here in not so sunny London," the
man smirked, cocking his head to one side and looking up at Luke through
dark lashes.  "Listen PC Pipsqueak, no offence, but have you stopped to
think that if I'd wanted to, say, shoot you, I would have by now?"

Luke shook his head.  He was beginning to feel flustered.  "You
shouldn't have a gun,' he muttered lamely.  "Now, I'm going to ask you
one more time.  Please give me the gun."

Laughing, the man reached into his coat.  Luke breathed a sigh of
relief, thinking that he was getting the gun.  He wasn't.  When his hand
came back out from in his coat the man was holding what looked to be an
ID badge of sorts.  He flashed it at Luke.  "Here.  Does this make you
feel better?  I have a gun because I'm *allowed* to have a gun.  If you
don't like it then, well, tough."

Seeing the letters CI on the ID Luke deduced that the man had to work
for the CIA and accepted that was indeed allowed to carry a fire arm.
He also saw that his name was Chris before the badge disappeared back
beneath his coat.  Suddenly feeling like a git, Luke blushed a delicate
rose pink colour.  "Sorry…  I was just… ah…  doing…"

"You were just doing your job, yeah, yeah," Chris sighed.  "Whatever."

Thrilled at the thought of there being a CIA operation going down in Sun
Hill, Luke sat down in the seat next to Chris, pleased to have someone
to talk to to take his mind off the thought of Craig lying all battered
and in pain somewhere nearby.  "Here on business?" he asked.

Chris sighed again and slumped further back in his chair.  "I'm here
because my partner is trying to convince some idiot doctor with ideas
above their station that its okay for us to interview some disgusting
smelly old drunk that our delusional commander thinks is involved in
arms trafficking.  I could either sit here in peace and quiet, which
incidentally I was until you arrived, or I could start screaming at the
doctor.  Sam thought it was best for everyone if I just stayed here."

"Sam?" Luke queried, fascinated.

"My partner," Chris sighed.  Given the amount of sighing the American
was doing Luke decided that he must have been waiting for a very long
time.  After sighing again, he looked across at Luke, a resigned
expression on his face.  "What about you?  What are you doing here?"

"My sergeant was beaten up at the station and I'm here to see how he
is," Luke replied, a fresh twinge of dismay washing over him.  "The
nurse said that the doctor was still with him and that I have to wait."

"Oh…"  Chris was saved from having to think of anything else to say by
the arrival of his partner.  A look of sheer relief lighting up his
face, Chris bounded up from his chair and made a beeline for the dark
haired man who just arrived in the waiting room.  They both paused in
the doorway, whispering.  Luke couldn't hear what they were saying and
smiled when the dark haired man looked in his direction.  The two CIA
agents then laughed, the sounds of American and English laughter
blending together seamlessly.  Once they'd finished laughing, to Luke's
distinct surprise Chris leant forward and planted a quick kiss on his
partner's lips.  Luke's eyes nearly bugged out of his head when,
apparently not content with just a peck, his partner grabbed him around
the waist and kissed him back.  Passionately.  If they cared that Luke
was watching them they didn't show it.  In fact, lost only in each
other, he doubted they were even aware of his presence.
Then, as though they'd both been nothing other than a beautiful
hallucination, they were gone, leaving Luke alone in the waiting room, a
tingling sensation in his groin.

More than ever he wanted to see Craig.  All of a sudden things were
clear to him.  He knew what he wanted and what he wanted was Craig.

Getting up, he went back to the nurses station and asked if he could see
Craig now.  After looking at her chart the nurse, who was different to
the one he'd spoken to earlier, informed him that Craig had discharged
himself to home.  The doctor had wanted him to stay in overnight for
observation but Craig had refused.  Luke thanked the nurse, knowing that
there was no point in crying over spilt milk.

His path now as clear as the shiniest and brightest star in the solar
system, Luke knew what he had to do.
Once he'd maneuvered his car through the obstacle course that was the
Saint Hughes visitors car park, passing a black Nissan with steamed up
windows that appeared to be rocking in the process, he turned in the
direction of Craig's house.

Capture 9

Craig desperately tried to get the door of his semi-detached open.  It
was murder trying to get up the stairs that led from the herbaceous
border that Sean had planted at the front with a cracked rib, carrying
his crutches with one hand.  Good thing there'd been a taxi available to
get home with, no way he could have driven on his own.  Luckily nothing
else was broken but he'd be unable to use his arm for a few weeks.  His
handsome face was quite swollen on one side were the skinheads boot had
caught him.  The limpid markings met and joined with the squalid bruise
from his fist, forming a mark as colourful as it was painful.  Catching
sight of himself in the hall mirror wasn't a treat either,  More a site
of sore eyes than a sight for them! he thought bitterly.

He sank into a chair in the kitchen and opened a bottle of scotch.  He
wasn't a drinker normally but he thought after the day he'd had he
deserved it.  It helped take the edge off the considerable pain he was
feeling now the drugs were wearing off, not that they'd given him too
much at the hospital.  He'd had to be very firm with them to prevent it
though.  Sean had been a big believer in natural therrapies and it had
rubbed off over time - he used herbal everything for all the normal
aches and pains and even thought twice before even taking an aspirin
these days.  It had dovetailed nicely with his own interest in fresh
vegetables.  The bitter whiskey gave his tidy and organised room a
softer edge.  The kitchen is the heart of any household, true, but when
there's nobody to share it with..., he thought sadly.  It was a very
lonely room.  It felt fitting to be sitting here alone after the day
he'd had though, as he'd brought it on himself if he really looked at it
all honestly.  Although it wasn't his fault, it wasn't anyone's, he
supposed.

He was too tired to take his uniform off, so he just loosened his tie as
best he could, and pulled off the pullover which was around his neck and
leaving his strapped arm free.  the rest could wait.  He sagged back
into the chair and looked up at the pale green ceiling with hand-painted
cornicing as best he could, searching his soul desperately for reasons
as to how he could have been so stupid.  His mind, starting to be
pleasantly fuddled, was racing with questions.  Who could have done
this?  And why?  And why were they expecting Des Taviner of all people?
Where was Gary?  He knew there was something terribly important about
what had happened he had to remember, but the piece of paper with the
message had fallen clean out of his mind, and of course it had blown far
away before help arrived.  There was the rub.  Try as he might all he
could think was the plaintive thought why had help taken so long to
arrive?
He sighed thinking that the last question at least was answerable.  He
knew from long and terrible experience on the crime-ridden streets of
the city he chose to make his home that these things just happened, and
any form of intervention was a matter of luck.  It was one of the things
he found most disillusioning about police work in a big city as opposed
to a smaller more community-based place.  He hadn't been in Sun Hill
long enough to see it for the small world it could be for long-term
serving officers, and sometimes he doubted he ever would.

He sometimes thought transferring back to a regional service might be
the best thing to do, but a number of things stopped him.  First of all
his conflict with his family, who couldn't handle his defiant stance on
being who he was.  And even joining the service hadn't helped.  Still
that didn't matter, he'd put his father behind him with his previous
lovers and made a new life for himself.  There had always been things to
keep him here, first Sean, then getting a place of his own, then the
promise of Luke, or so he'd thought.  It was clear even thinking about
Luke was a pipe dream, and as for the other more physical opportunities
offered by the metropolis let alone the nick today had really reiterated
to him why he'd left the world of casual furtive sex far behind in the
first place.  It was dark and welcoming but it wasn't home.

Not that it hadn't been good, and a part of him really did long for
more.  After so long alone it felt as if he's body had just been woken
up from a long and dreamless state of quiescence.  But all the same, he
shouldn't have forgotten his duty in pursuit of it.  He reproached
himself and decided inwardly he had been tempting fate, and resolved not
to see Gary again, although he knew it might be harder than it seemed at
first to stick with it.  Especially with Luke around, keeping him in
turmoil and ready for action.

As he was thinking this sadly the phone rang.  He was too sore to get up
but luckily his landline diverted to his mobile Nokai which was in his
pocket, the ringtone beeping out something upbeat and inappropriate to
his mood he'd downloaded when he was more optimistic.  He took it out
with difficulty, thinking at least he hadn't been robbed or anything.
"Hello," he said, and scowled as he heard Gary's voice on the phone.
"Speak of the devil,". Still, at least it wasn't Chandler.  If that
greasy bastard had rung with a sympathy call he'd have felt like boiling
puppies.

"Sarge... Craig...", there was a pause.  "I just wanted to know... are
you all right?  I rang St Huge and they said you were okay to go home,
but you didn't look it when I saw you."  He sounded very apprehensive.

Craig snorted, "Don't worry, I'm not about to put it round the nick what
I was doing there, if that's what's worrying you.  Or do you need help
explaining why you  were the first one on scene?  Yes, I saw you
arrive,"  he went on, sitting straighter with a wave of unexplained and
probably unfair anger towards the younger man. "And I think we'd better
leave it at Sergeant Gilmore now don't you?  This whole thing's been a
farce, and a very bad idea.  I shouldn't have encouraged you and I think
we should both just forget about it, all right."

"This wasn't deliberate Sarge!" said Gary indignantly, "and I've got a
broken nose out of it too, so it's not just you".  Craig thought he'd
sounded a little strange. "Oh, I see.  What happened, did he get you
too?"  His spirits rose at the thought, maybe with the two of them they
could raise a reliable id.  This was clearly something with much wider
implications, perhaps still part of some kind of vindictive pursuit of
Sun Hill officers, as the rude graffiti against Tony and so on had shown
in recent weeks, and the frying bacon remarks people made, all very
upsetting.  And it would explain why the attractive skinhead had asked
about Des Taviner.  He clearly wasn't couldn't have been a snout!  Craig
felt on much firmer ground, and found that taking refuge in procedural
matters helped tremendously.  It had always been a balm and a retreat
from his more troubled private life. "Did you see his tattoo? I couldn't
make it out properly..."

He heard a muffled sound from the other end of
the phone, which he recognised with difficulty as a snort of laughter.
"No, it was one of our colleagues, as a matter of fact.  He seemed very
upset when he found out what happened.  He clearly looks up to you.
Although," and his tone took on a measure of cunning, "not as much as
either of you would like him to, if you know what I mean."

"I'm not in the mood for games Gary," snapped Gilmore, annoyed.  "If
you've got something to say, say it.  If your man enough to, which I'm
starting to doubt."

His only answer was a low laugh.  "Now now, you're starting to sound
like Matt Boyden.  And I was more than man enough for you, wasn't I?"
His voice took on a gentler tone.  "Don't worry, I'm not about to spill
the beans, not that anyone can't see you're head-over for our little
friend anyway.  Mind you I think he's still working that out."  Craig
started to speak, but Gary broke in again, "and yes I do mean who you
think I mean.  I'm not stupid, and neither is he, despite appearances
and ample evidence to the contrary!"

Craig swallowed silently, trying to deal with this information.  "So...
he hit you?  Why?  *How?*" He tried to imagine poor tiny Luke hitting
anybody with any force, and couldn't - he'd always seemed as if he'd be
about as forceful as a nerf ball in a fight.   Gary laughed, in a way
that sounded sincere this time. "I like that.  Although I'm not so sure
what it says you think about me..."

"Oh", Craig didn't realise he'd vocalised his thoughts aloud.  He
laughed too, ignoring the ache it caused in his face and ribs, then
paused.  "Does that... does that matter?  What I think of you?"

There was a pause in return, then Gary said slowly "Out of uniform?  No.
Look... to be honest, Craig...", Gilmore let that one pass with relief,
not wanting to interrupt, "no, it doesn't matter.  The other night was
fun, for both of us, and I wouldn't mind doing it again."  Craig nodded
involuntarily, glad they weren't talking in person. "And if you ever
want to... well, you know where I am.  Just ask.  Or indicate that you
want me to *demand* it..." he let his voice trail off, and Craig could
imagine him smiling with that wicked smile again.  It wasn't an
unwelcome image, but perhaps not as powerful, now.  "But I can see
you're... preoccupied.  I was serious before, it's fairly obvious that
you  care about him.  I suppose that's why I got interested... to see if
it was just him or whether you were after any young guy in a uniform,
you know.  Suited me either way, but I was curious..."

It was Craig's turn to laugh hollowly.  "Is that how I strike you? Some
kind of habitual abuser of authority?"  It surprised him to realise how
much the answer meant to him, not because it was a probationer he was
talking to, but because for the first time it occurred to him that
perhaps Luke could have interpreted his interest badly.  Perhaps that
explained his reactions?  It shocked him to think it and he took another
gulp without thinking.

He was relieved to hear the genuine indignancy in Gary's voice as he
said "No, Sarge! of course not."  Gary went on quickly, "And as far as I
can see neither does Luke."  It took Craig aback to have it put on the
table between them, he'd never dared say the name aloud to anyone yet,
in this context.  "He's just a bit... I don't know, towards you."

He decided to bit the bullet.  "Confused?" offered Craig wryly.  "I *so*
know that already, thank you Gary."

Friendly laughter ensued from the other end of the phone.  "I was going
to say "slow", but whatever floats your boat.  And I guess he does,
right Sarge?"

"Right," said Craig, with resignation, but fresh hope.  It was such a
relief just to be able to talk to somebody openly about this.  "I'm sure
I needn't stress the need for discretion, though, Constable Best..."

"Of course not," said Gary firmly, and something in his voice persuaded
Craig he was being genuine.  The phone started making little beep
noises, "Look', that's another call, I'd better go, it could be the
higherups for you."  At just that second there was a knock at the front
door, so he said "Right.  I'll see you in the morning, Constable."  "You
got it, Sarge!".  He felt quite cheerful as he put the phone down - if
his guts were right that was one less problem to worry about.  He noted
absently that the other call was indeed from Chandler's number.  "And
you, sir, can stick your sodding PR!" he said cheerfully, and terminated
the call without answering it.

Satisfactory all round, he thought.  It took him a while to get to the
door, and the knocker clearly was put out with the wait, judging by the
intensity of the sounds, but when he opened the door to find Des Tavaner
there, the look of impatience on the older man's face melted immediately
when he saw how hurt Craig was.

"What do you want, PC Taviner?" said Craig warily.  Des shuffled,
looking to Reg who was standing close behind him for support.  "Er... I
heard about what happened..."  Craig looked hard at him.  "Is there
something you want to tell me, Des?  That you can't say at the station?
Only I'm very tired, and not exactly in the mood for standing up right
now."  Des avoided his eyes and said "No, look... I just wanted to say I
think it's one of Simpson's men, some blurt after me for being there
when he nicked him, you know."  Craig didn't stop to wonder how he knew
what had happened, he
assumed someone at the hospital had said something.  Or probably Gina,
he'd phoned her a brief outline of what happened while he was waiting to
be discharged.
"And I'm sorry.  I was supposed to be meetin' him, you know.  He said he
had information..."  Des trailed off, his face a picture of guilt.  "I
don't even know his name, Sarge..." Behind him Reg put his arm round his
shoulders for support, looking like he didn't believe a word of it but
forgiving him anyway and said "That's enough I think, you can talk about
it in more detail tomorrow.  I think we should leave Sgt Gilmore in
peace now."  He flashed Gilmore an apologetic simile, and Craig
acknowledged it, wryly.  "That's all right Reg, at least we have
something to go on, then.  Much easier to track than a random attack.
I'll expect you to see CID in the morning, maybe tell MIT too."
"Will do," said Reg firmly on Des' behalf, and his partner nodded
sombrely in acquiescence.  "Makes a big difference psyschologically,
doesn't it Sarge, knowing what happened" said Reg cheerily, and led Des
away down the steps, pausing only to say over his shoulder "Oh, your
rhodies need watering, Sarge, hope you don't mind me saying.  Lovely
growth though."  Craig nodded with forbearance and waved them off.  As
he closed the door he could hear him saying "Right, and that's an end to
it, as far as I'm concerned, I don't mind as long as you're honest with
me" and Des saying soberly and quietly "Thank you Reggie-babe, what
would I do without you, I don't know why you put up with me I really
don't."
He must have been fairly shaken up, thought Craig, almost feeling sorry
for Des as he clearly needed Reg's arm around his waist to support him
as they walked off.  He couldn't help smiling as he went back into the
house.  They were a strange pair but working together clearly improved
their performance and reliability.   Strange to think they were possibly
his most reliable constables since the fire!  At least he knew they were
all playing on the same team, something he occasionally had doubts about
with some of the others.  Especially Bradford and Klein, and yes, he had
to admit it, sometimes even Luke.

"Luke, Luke, always Luke."  He fixed himself another drink, taking it
through onto the big couch in the small living-room, ignoring the two
messages now left on his phone from Chandler's number.  He settled
himself uncomfortably into the leather folds and sighed, putting on the
TV with the sound down, and some soothing Lou Reed on the stereo for
company.   He was staring without interest at the end of the news, but
couldn't rid himself of the strange trapped look, the plea in Luke's
eyes that morning.  It took on new significance now, although... what
about that bloody woman!  he couldn't get the picture of Kerry's self-
satisfied face out of his mind, her undenible beauty paling in
comparison to her chosen mans'.  Why did it always come back to Luke in
the end... he shut his eyes, and took comfort in the small gleam of hope
Gary had offered him.  Perhaps there was a solution after all... but
today had been a sombre lesson in responsibility.  Could it be possible
to have the man of his dreams?  Could he follow his heart after all?
These burning questions were still there, and his mind whirled thinking
about them.  That at least hadn't changed.


Chapter ten

Parking his car opposite Craig's neat looking house, Luke clambered out
of the driver's seat and locked the door.  While Craig lived in a pretty
nice looking neighbourhood the policeman in Luke - that operated 24/7! -
- told him that it was better being safe than sorry.  He didn't want any
toerag nicking his Eminem CD now, did he?

More than three hours had past since Luke had first heard the earth
shattering news that Craig had been beaten up.  Given what he'd come to
realise during this time it felt like longer.  For the first time since
reluctantly
opening his eyes this morning Luke was feeling hopeful about things.  A
little voice in the back of his head told him in no uncertain terms that
the time had finally come for him to wake up and smell the coffee.
What's more, he knew in himself that the voice in his head was right.
The time had indeed come.

After carefully checking for oncoming traffic, Luke took a deep and
calming breath and crossed the road.  His heart, in direct contradiction
to the certainty in his head, beat a nervous tattoo on the inside of his
chest.  Now that he was so close he was beginning to be eaten alive with
doubts.  What if he'd left it to late?  What if Craig had had enough of
his indesciveness?  What if Craig was passed out inside and he to get
someone from the nick around to break in?  What if Craig told him to go
away?

What if, what if, what if…

The what ifs niggled at Luke as, his hand feeling clammy, he pushed open
Craig's gate and slowly made his way to the front door.  He had no idea
what it was that he was going to say.  All he knew for sure was that
he'd passed the point of no return, that he was here now and that he
wasn't going anywhere until they'd cleared the air between them.

His mind made up, Luke straightened his back and, with one last deep
breath, knocked on Craig's door.  As he waited for it to be opened he
suddenly wished that he'd had the forethought to have bought Craig some
flowers.  Or a bunch of grapes. He was, after all, injured.  Besides, it
would have given him something to hide behind.  Then again, what with
the way his hands were shaking it was probably for the best that he
hadn't.

When the door slowly opened the cheery smile Luke had been making a
point of keeping
plastered over his face died a natural death and, although he didn't
want to, he gasped.  Poor Craig!  His normally handsome face looked like
something that would scare small children.  Luke stared at Craig, his
mouth gaping open in shock.  Warring with Luke's dismay at how injured
Craig looked was the blood curdling desire to wreck revenge on the
bastard who'd done it to him.  Luke knew that if the perp suddenly
materialised in front of him that the resulting altercation wouldn't be
pretty.

Craig stared at Luke, his expression as shocked as Luke felt.  "Lu… Ah…
PC Ashton," he mumbled.  "what can I do for you?  Have you come to take
a statement?"

Luke shook his head, hoping that Craig wasn't actually concussed.  Given
that he was in his civvies there was no reason Craig should have thought
he was there on official police business. "I'm off duty," Luke replied,
finally wrestling his tongue back from the little invisible cat in his
mouth that had been holding it ransom ever since he'd laid eyes on
Craig's battered face.  "I…  Inspector Gold gave me the rest of the
shift off," he continued, not knowing whether to tell the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth or not.  Deciding that if in
doubt it was better to err on the side of caution Luke thought it would
be better if he didn't leap in with the news flash that he'd broken
Gary's nose.  "I went straight to Saint Hughes to see you but you… ah…
snuck off before I was able to.  So…I… ah… came here"
Craig continued to stare at Luke, his expression changing from shocked
to unreadable.  "You wanted to see me for some reason?" he finally
murmured after a moment's or two of uncomfortable silence, during which
Luke was unable to stop himself from hopping nervously from foot to
foot.

Luke nodded.  "I wanted to see that you were okay," he said simply,
finding the strength to look up and meet Craig's eyes with his.

"Well you've seen now," Craig muttered, shrugging inelegantly 'cos of
his bandaged arm.  "If you're at all interested, yes, I look like I feel
and vice versa.  Now, is there anything else I can do for you PC… Luke."

"I was hoping we could perhaps talk," Luke murmured, unable to keep a
pleading tone from entering his voice.  "I know I haven't been behaving
at my best just recently and want to talk to you."

Craig sighed and leant against the doorframe for support.  He looked
tired and in pain and Luke longed to be able to look after him.  "Can't
this wait until tomorrow?" he whispered plainly.  "I plan to be back at
the nick tomorrow and if you want to talk about your work performance I
think it would be better…"

"It's not work I want to talk about," Luke interrupted desperately with
an anxious shake of his head.  "It's… ah… personal.  Please.  Can I come
in?"

Craig sighed again, reminding Luke of the CIA agent he'd met at Saint
Hughes and his apparent predilection for sighing.  "If you must," he
muttered, not exactly sounding thrilled with the concept of having a
guest.  "Come on then.  You're interrupting some serious quality time
with a bottle of scotch."

Scotch!  Luke was mortified.  He shouldn't be drinking scotch on top of
the medication Saint Hughes no doubt would have pumped into him.  "You
shouldn't be drinking," he admonished quietly, following Craig down the
short and comfy looking corridor.  "Not after what happened.  Tell you
what, why don't you go and sit down while I make a nice cup of coffee?
Trust me.  I make, even if I do say so myself, a mean cup of coffee."
Luke knew he was prattling but he couldn't help himself.  "Once you've
had a cup of coffee I've made you'll never go back."

A tired smile crossed Craig's pale lips as he paused in the doorway of a
small and aesthetically pleasing looking living room.  "Fine," he
capitulated, waving Luke in the direction of the kitchen.  "Just shout
if you can't find anything."

"Leave it to me," Luke smiled, hovering in the doorway of the living
room and ensuring that Craig sat down in the over stuffed sofa before
hurrying off to the kitchen.  His smile broadened as he looked around
the perfectly kitted out kitchen.  While not full of the stainless steel
appliances of his dreams it was definitely a good start.  Luke could
picture himself cooking up a storm in Craig's kitchen and a tremor of
hopeful anticipation worked its way through him.  He could even see the
perfect spot for his collection of cook books.

It took all of Luke's self control not to whistle a happy tune as he set
about making the coffee.  As he'd expected everything in Craig's kitchen
was where it should be and the coffee took next to no time at all.  Once
it
was made Luke carried two steaming cups into the living room.  Having
watched Craig make it enough times in the kitchen at the nick he already
knew that he took it white with one and had made accordingly.
"Here you go," he declared softly, handing Craig his cup before sitting
down in the armchair opposite.  "White with one.  Just how you like it."

"Thanks," Craig murmured, looking at Luke with an expression of open
curiosity.  "Now, you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Mmmm…," Luke agreed noncommittally, pointing to cup in Craig's hand.
"Try your coffee first though.  I want to know what you think."

Craig raised an eyebrow but nonetheless did as was requested and took a
sip.  And then another.  He then smiled appreciatively.  "Very nice.  I
think I could get used to it."

That's exactly what I'm counting on, Luke thought to himself as he
savoured a mouthful of coffee.  Oh yeah.  It was good.  "I'm glad you
like it, Sarg…"  Pausing, he corrected himself.  "Ah… is it okay if I
call you Craig?"

"Given that you're sitting in my living room I suppose I can let it go,"
Craig replied, a twinkle of amusement appearing in his non blackened
eye.  "Okay Luke, I'm invited you in and complemented you on your
coffee, now, do you want to tell me what all of this is really about?
In case you haven't already guessed I'm not exactly in the mood for
games."

"I'm not here to play you," Luke murmured, hurt that he could even think
such a thing.
"Honest Craig, I know I may have jerked you around before but I promise
you that's in the past now.  I'm…  I'm not here to play games or to hurt
you.  I just…  I just wanted to talk to you."

"I hope it's not going to be about Kerry," Craig stated softly, taking
another mouthful of his coffee.  "If it is you can save your breath.
Women are not and have never been what you'd call my forte."

"Or mine," Luke whispered, surprising himself with his honesty.  "It's
not Kerry.  Well, she's involved but it's not really anything to do with
her.  It's me.  She's…"  Trailing off, Luke knew that he couldn't hold
back, that the chance was his and that he had to grab it with both
hands.  It was quite literally a case of now or never!  "She's a lovely
girl, but she's not for me," he exclaimed breathlessly.  "When I'm with
her I'm not comfortable.  I…  I don't know if this makes any sense or
not, but I don't feel as though I can truly be me with her.  Or any girl
for that matter."

Craig's one good eye widened at Luke's words and, in an eerie echo of
Luke's earlier expression, his mouth gaped open.  "Are you sure you know
what it is you're saying?" he murmured hesitantly.

Luke nodded, knowing that there was no going back for him.  Kerry
represented breasts and an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his
stomach whereas Craig, even looking like the Phantom of the opera sans
mask, represented the warm and loving future that Luke so desperately
craved.  "I think so, yeah," he murmured gently.  "I know its taken me
long enough to feel this way but, yeah, I know that what I'm saying is
real.  Hearing about what happened to you just brought it crashing down
around my ears how much you mean to me.  I…  I know that I haven't shown
it, and that…  and that I've been behaving like a right pain in the arse
for the last couple of weeks… but I'm speaking the truth.  You mean a
lot to me.  More than Kerry."  Pausing, Luke looked up and caught
Craig's gaze.  The older man's expression was one of sheer hope,
reassuring Luke that he was indeed doing the right thing.

"More than anything," he finished, his breath catching in his throat.
The ball was now firmly in Craig's court.  Luke didn't know what else to
say.  Not now anyway.  The time would come for a deep and meaningful
heart to heart but it wasn't now.  Now was about marking out the
foundations, not laying them.         "You don't know what it is your
saying," Craig whispered plaintively with a shake of his head.  "You…
You can't."

"I can and I do," Luke corrected, placing his coffee on the coffee table
and standing up.  His legs feeling unsteady he then walked across the
room and crouched down in front of Craig.  "Believe me," he pleaded,
reaching out and placing his hands lightly on Craig's knees.  "You've
got to believe me.  I'll admit its taken me long enough to come to my
senses but I look at you and see everything I want in a partner.  I… I
love you."

Craig shook his head again and winced with apparent pain.  "Luke… I…"
Blinking slowly, as though waking from a dream, he didn't seem to know
what to say.
"It's your call, Craig," Like murmured, every fibre in his body praying
that he hadn't left his chance with Craig too late.  If he had Luke knew
that there was nothing left for him, that it would be hard to find the
strength to go on.  "Tell me to go away and I'll leave.  Tell me to
apologise to Gary for braking his nose and I will.  Tell me that you
never want to see me again and I'll crawl into a corner and wish for
death.  Tell me to wait on you hand and foot and I'll do so with a
permanent smile and a song in my heart.  Anything.  I'll do anything for
you Craig.  I'll even wait for you and jump through any hoop you place
in my way to prove to you that what I'm saying is 4 real."
His piece said and his heart on tenterhooks, Luke rocked back on his
heels and stared up at Craig through lowered eyelashes.

"I'm not worthy of such…" Craig started to whisper, his eye fixed on
Luke's.

"To me you are," Luke cut him off.  "Whatever you've done in the past.
Whatever I've done before now.  It doesn't have to matter.  We only have
to concern ourselves with the future."  Luke knew in himself that he'd
never spoken truer words.  Nothing else had to matter other than the
present and the future.  "Think about it Craig.  Search your heart.
What do you want?  You just have to tell me and I'll do anything in my
power to make it reality."

Please, please, please, please, please, Luke thought, mantra like, as
Craig took his sweet time answering.

With a slight nod to indicate that he'd made his mind up, Craig placed
his hands over Luke's.  "Kiss me," he murmured, his tone of voice more
hopeful than commanding.
A brilliant smile lit up Luke's face, making him look even younger than
he was, and he did as asked.  Fireworks exploded in his brain as his
lips tentatively met Craig's.  The sensation was better than when they'd
kissed in the office.  That had just been a dry run.  This however was
the real thing and their slow burning passion was fuelled by an
undercurrent of pure emotion.

"Love you too," Craig whispered through lips that were even more swollen
than they had been a moment ago when they had to reluctantly separate in
order to come up for air.

Luke replied by returning his lips to Craig's.  Two thoughts flitted
through his mind before he abandoned all thought and threw himself
willingly into the open arms of pleasure.

One, the day suddenly didn't strike him as being too horrible after all.

And two, that the future was brighter than it had ever been.

END

(or is it?????!!)