OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS

Author:        Eggbert
E-mail:        mbejane2000@...

Disclaimer:    Not mine, if they were I like to think I would have
               handled things a bit better.

Summary:       Luke's been publicly outed but will he be able to cope
               with the behaviour of the rest of the relief?

Spoilers:      For ep #119 and for future #122.
Rating:        PG-13.
A/N:           I finished this a while ago but as TB writers keep moving
               the goalposts, a re-write was in order.

For Casey and Ines.



Rage and humiliation burned in Luke Ashton's system as he arrived at Sun
Hill the morning after Jim and Marie's wedding.

He was out. It wasn't the way he would have wanted everyone to know he
was gay, having a very drunk Kerry get up on stage and announce it to
everyone. Still, the damage was done, and he still had a job to do.
Everyone would just have to live with it.

Alone in the locker room, Luke decided on a shower. He stripped off and
had just finished winding the towel around his waist when the door burst
open and Des and Reg came in. Reg smiled as he always did but Des
appeared to ignore him, instead he turned to Reg and said loudly.

" Well, I //was// going to have a shower, Reggie babe, but I don't think
I'll bother. It'd be terrible if I dropped the soap. I'd never be able
to pick it up."

Luke felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment as Reg glared at Des, who
continued to undress, completely oblivious to the others.

Luke pressed his face against the tiles as the scalding hot water washed
over him. He knew this would just be the beginning. How the hell had
Craig managed to put up with taunts like that for so many years? But now
wasn't the time to think about Craig. He had enough painful thoughts to
contend with.

In the briefing, Luke felt a though everyone was watching him. Sergeant
Smith looked particularly smug as he paired Luke off with Gary and
assigned them to foot patrol. It was a relief to get out of the station,
even though it quickly became clear that Gary wasn't talking to him.
Finally, Luke had had enough.

"Will you stop the silent treatment? " he asked. " You're doing my head
in. "

Gary looked at him with something approaching disgust.

" How could you do that to Kerry? " he asked. " How could you humiliate
her like that, eh? It's disgusting."

" I didn't know what I was doing, " said Luke.

" She'll never get over this, " Gary continued. " And to think I used to
let you stay at my place..." he tailed off, the contempt obvious in his
eyes.

" Don't worry, it's not catching and I definitely don't fancy you. "
said Luke trying to lighten the atmosphere a bit. Gary turned away,
effectively ending the conversation.

They went back to the station for refs and Luke found himself sitting
with Des and Reg. Of all the people he thought might understand, it was
those two, after all, they had been together for a long time, but he was
destined to be disappointed.

" It's been a bit of a shock for everyone, " said Reg trying to pour oil
on troubled waters.

" I don't really want to talk about it, " muttered Luke.

" Can't think why, " said Des airily. He pushed his plate over to Luke.
" Fairy cake, darlin'. Or would you prefer a mince pie. " he asked with
a sneer.

Luke had had enough. He slammed his teacup into the saucer and stormed
out of the canteen.

" You bloody idiot, " snarled Reg. " What did you do that for? "

" Can't stand hypocrites, me. " said Des unrepentantly.

" Oh for Christ's sake, " sighed Reg and got up to go and find Luke.

Reg eventually tracked Luke down outside. The young man had his hands
pressed hard against the brickwork and his eyes were tight shut.

" Luke? " Reg touched him on the shoulder, feeling the tension in the
other man's body. Luke spun round and raised his hands as though to ward
off a blow, but lowered them when he saw who it was.

" Leave me alone, " he said flatly.

" No, " said Reg. " I want to help you. "

" You can. Tell your boyfriend to get off my case. Just who the //fuck//
does he think he is, taking the piss out of me when he's sleeping with
you? What gives him the right to think he can get away with it? "

Reg became very stern.

" He has no time for hypocrites, Luke. And it's early yet; he hasn't got
up to speed. "

" Meaning? "

" Meaning he's never pretended to be something he's not, and neither
have I. It's not the fact you're gay, Luke, it's the fact that you lied
about it and hurt God knows how many people in the process. "

The fact that Reg was right didn't stop Luke becoming even angrier.

" He should leave me alone or...."

" Or what? Face it, Luke. You'll get worse than Des's innuendo."

Luke deflated. Reg, the eternal peacemaker, had done it again.

" Probably, " he said gloomily. " How the hell do you put up with him? "

" Apart from the fact that I love him? Well, it's not easy living with
someone like Des. But we suit each other well enough. "

" The oldest married couple at Sun Hill, " Luke grinned weakly as Reg
blushed.

" Something like that. It would be a lot easier for you if Sergeant
Gilmore were here though. "

Reg didn't miss the way Luke reacted to Craig's name and he filed it
away for future reference.

" What difference would Craig make? "

" An openly gay sergeant wouldn't victimise you because of your
sexuality. And he'd come down on anyone that did like a ton of bricks. I
know he was fond of you when he was here. "

" How? "

" I've got eyes, Luke. And it wasn't all one-sided, was it? "

Luke shook his head.

" Reg...."

" Look, don't worry. I won't say a word. And I'll tell Des to back off.
He might listen to me. Then again..."

They both smiled at the thought of Des doing what he was told as they
made their way back to the canteen.

" Just stick with it, Luke. They'll be talking about someone else next
week. "

" Thanks, Reg. " said Luke.

" All part of the service. Look, Gary's waiting for you. "

Luke squared his shoulders and headed out again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~



Reg arrived back at the area car with two steaming cups of coffee and
silently handed one to Des.

" Thanks, Reggie babe, " said Des, removing the lid and gulping
thirstily at the contents.

" I want you to leave Luke alone, " said Reg bluntly.

" Spoilsport, " said Des affectionately.

" I'm serious, Des."

" If he thinks I'm bad, just wait till the other lads start on him. It's
no more than he deserves. Kerry's a lovely girl, I still can't believe
he did that to her. "

" Not everyone knows themselves as well as we do, " said Reg.

" Very true, but he's going to have to put in a lot of spadework before
people start talking to him again. "

" He might transfer, " said Reg glumly, sipping at his scalding coffee.

" It'd probably be for the best, " agreed Des.

" Don't you think we've lost enough officers recently? " asked Reg. Des
refused to answer.

" Sierra One from Sierra Oscar, " barked the radio.

" ShowTime, " muttered Des as he responded to the call.

Reg fumed silently. He had done his best but Des could be a stubborn
bastard when he wanted to be. Luke would just have to make the most of
it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Three days later and Luke had had about as much as he could take. At
work he was either ignored or ridiculed, Des being the chief
protagonist. Reg tried to be sympathetic but Luke couldn't trust him
either. After all, Reg was living with the bastard. Outside work, things
weren't much better. He had finished with his boyfriend, citing the fact
that he wasn't quite ready for a relationship yet. How could he cope
with someone else when he couldn't cope with himself?

And the crowning humiliation. He had been paired with Kerry. At least
she didn't ignore him but she didn't regret outing him one bit. For the
millionth time he tried to apologise for being the scum of the earth,
but Kerry wasn't in a listening mood and they were silent as they drove
to the next shout, some kid trying it on at one of the local mini
markets. Bread and butter stuff that wouldn't take much clearing up. Or
so they thought until the youngster turned round and they saw the gun.

" Put it down, mate, " said Luke calmly.

" Don't move!" hissed the boy, his eyes enormous in his pale face. He
was obviously as high as a kite.  " Sierra Oscar from two oh two. Urgent
assistance required...." yelled Kerry into her radio.

" I warned you, " yelled the boy, his finger tightening on the trigger.

In a dreamlike state, Luke saw everything with perfect clarity. A way
out of it all. No more hurt, no more humiliation, a hero's death, a
chance to repay Kerry for hurting her so badly for he still loved her,
but not in any way that would be acceptable to her. A chance to forget
Craig, to lay down the torch he was still carrying.

Then action took over as Luke pushed Kerry aside; a soft grunt escaping
from him as the slugs tore into his body. Then nothing...sweet peace.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gina Gold's hand trembled as she lit up outside Sun Hill. Kerry Ashton,
still splattered with her estranged husband's blood, had refused all
forms of sedation until she had spoken to Gina.

" It was as if he wanted to die, " said Kerry, her eyes wide with shock.
" He saved my life, ma'am."

Gina had continued the debrief, but her heart wasn't in it, not
entirely. The words, 'It was like he wanted to die' went round and round
in her head. But Luke was still clinging to life, even if the doctors
were more pessimistic than usual.

The entire station was subdued when she returned, Robbie was extremely
red-eyed when Gina asked her where she could find Reg Hollis.

" He's still out on patrol as far as I know, ma'am, " sniffed Robbie.

Gina walked into the CAD office and wrenched the headset from Honey.

" One seven one from Sierra Oscar One, are you receiving, over? "

" One seven one, go ahead ma'am. "

" Return to base immediately, Reg,"

" On way. "

Gina stalked back to her office, awaiting Reg's return.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reg was paper white as he digested the news.

" I can't believe it, " he muttered.

" It's true. Now Kerry seems convinced that Luke wanted to die. Can you
think of any reason why? "

" I think he was finding it hard to cope with being openly gay, ma'am, "
said Reg. " Some of the lads were making it difficult for him. "

" I see. Blatant homophobia or what? "

" Not exactly, " Reg shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

" Listen, Reg. You're supposed to be the Federation Rep, until Nick gets
back at least. If you have no idea what's going on in the relief then
perhaps you should think of handing the reins over to someone who does."

" It was just high spirits mostly, " said Reg. " I had a word with them
but it didn't do much good. "

" I see. "

" I told Luke just the other day how it would have been easier if
Sergeant Gilmore were still here. "

Gina winced. Ever since she had forced Craig to lie to Kerry their
relationship had cooled considerably. They still spoke, but any mention
of Sun Hill was strictly taboo.

" Everything would be better if Craig Gilmore were still here, " she
said. " But that's not going to happen. "

" Someone should tell him about Luke all the same, " said Reg. " He'd
like to know. "

Gina bowed her head.

" I can't tell him, " she said, a catch in her voice.

" Then tell me where to find him and I will, " demanded Reg. She
scribbled an address and phone number on a scrap of paper and handed it
to Reg.

" Good luck, " she said to his retreating back.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Des's nails dug into the palms of his hands as he listened to Gary
recounting what had happened to Luke and the very strong possibility
that Luke wouldn't last the night.

" Poor bastard, " murmured Des. " We shouldn't have been so hard on him.
"

Gary looked equally ashamed.

" No one expected him to do that though, did they? And he saved Kerry's
life. "

" So he did love her after all, " sighed Des. " Even if he was a pansy,
there was still love there. I just hope he recovers so I can tell him
how fucking sorry I am. "

Gary nodded his agreement.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Number seventeen looked exactly like every other house in the cul-de-
sac, but Reg looked approvingly at the neat square of garden as he
walked up the garden path and rang the doorbell.

He was relieved when Craig Gilmore answered the door. Reg wouldn't have
liked to try explaining his presence with a boyfriend in situ.

" Reg? " Craig looked totally flabbergasted. " What on earth are you
doing here? How did you find me? "

" Inspector Gold, Sarge. Can I come in, I've got some news for you."

Craig stood aside to let Reg in and followed him into the living room.

" What's wrong? " Craig asked.

" It's Luke Ashton. He's in intensive care at St Hugh's. "

" And what's that got to do with me? " asked Craig angrily. " Surely his
//wife// will be with him? "

Reg looked compassionately at Craig before saying,

" You've got no idea, have you? About what's happened since you got beat
up? "

" Tell me, " said Craig with a 'this had better be good' expression.

Uninvited, Reg sat and informed Craig about the miscarriage, Luke and
Kerry's separation, Luke being outed, how horrible the rest of the
relief had been since and what had happened to Luke to put him in
hospital. When he finished, Craig was wiping his eyes and Reg looked
away, embarrassed.

" If you want to say your goodbyes, Sarge, I would get over there. "

" Is it that bad? " asked Craig, a pleading note in his voice. Reg
nodded.

" I'm going home now, " said Reg. " See you, Sarge. "

" Thanks, Reg, " said Craig distractedly, his eyes scanning the room for
his car keys.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was late when Reg arrived back at the house he shared with Des. Des
was dressed impeccably but the effect was spoiled by the frown on his
face.

" Where the bloody hell have you been? " demanded Des and Reg slumped on
the chair, absolutely wrung out with emotion.

" Meddling, " said Reg. " I think I just opened up another world of hurt
for someone but I always have to try and do the right thing. "

" We were supposed to be going out for dinner two hours ago." complained
Des.

" Open a tin of beans, " yawned Reg. " I can't face other people
tonight. "

" You're having a laugh, " grumbled Des.

" I'm not. But why should that bother you? You never do anything I ask
you anyway. If you had, maybe Luke wouldn't be in intensive care!"
yelled Reg, suddenly galvanised by Des's seeming indifference.

" You're not pinning that one on me, Reg, " snarled Des.

" Why not? The poor bloke never got a minute's peace, did he? You
couldn't leave him alone, could you? What's the matter, Des? Frightened
someone might do the same to you? "

" They wouldn't dare, "

" I had hoped for better from you, Des. But you're just as bad as the
rest of them, aren't you? "

Des crossed the room in one stride and grasped Reg tightly.

" I am the way I am. If you don't like it..."

" Do you want out? " asked Reg tiredly." Have you had enough of being
the station joke's boyfriend? "

Des's hands slid up till they cupped either side of Reg's face and he
pressed his forehead to his lover's.

" I'm nothing without you, Reg, " he growled. " But if that's what you
want..."

" No, " said Reg simply, staring into his lover's crystal blue eyes. " I
want to go to bed and tomorrow, maybe things will be a bit clearer.
Life's too full of uncertainties just now. If I don't have you then I've
lost the one certain thing in my life. I still love you, but you're
going to have to behave. "

Then Des's mouth was on his and nothing else really mattered as Reg
surrendered to pleasure. It wasn't an answer, but a temporary solution
was better than none.

 *~*~*~*~*~*~

" He's critical, " said the nurse bluntly. " It should be immediate
family only. "

" I appreciate that, " said Craig, giving her his most winning smile, "
But I've come a long way."

" Five minutes, then, " she said.

Craig followed her into the intensive care unit, which resembled
something out of NASA, to a bed surrounded by bleeping machines.

" Oh dear God, " breathed Craig as he finally saw Luke.

" He's been heavily sedated so the ventilator is breathing for him."
said the nurse. " Just ignore the machines. Talk to him, hearing is one
of the last senses to go. "

Craig perched awkwardly on the stool provided and took Luke's
unresisting hand in his. Luke's face was unmarked but various wound
drains marked the spot where the bullets had entered him. Various drips
and lines replaced his lost fluids, while other tubes discreetly bore
the waste away.

Craig felt embarrassed, he had never been much use at one-sided
conversations, but he knew he had to try.

" Luke, it's me, Craig, " he said softly.

" I bet you weren't expecting me to turn up, eh? It's all Reg's fault.
You can tell him off when you're better. " Craig swallowed an extremely
painful lump in his throat.

" Why didn't you come to me, love? Did you think I'd turn you away? Or
did you think you could cope with this all on your own? I meant it when
I said I loved you. No matter how many lies you made me tell, you just
don't fall out of love just like that. I wish you'd come to me, but
you're as stubborn as a mule, Ashton. Aren't you? "

The only sound was the hiss of the ventilator and the soft bleep of the
heart monitor.

" I'm sorry, " said a voice behind Craig. " I'm afraid you'll have to go
now, "

Craig obediently stood up, leant over and kissed Luke gently on the
forehead.

" Goodbye, love. " he said softly.

The nurse had watched this interaction and as Craig stuck his hands in
his pockets, she beckoned him over to the nurse's station.

" Your friend's in a pretty bad way, " she said. Craig just looked at
her with overbright eyes.

" Why don't you give me a contact number and I can let you know if
anything happens. You obviously care for him very much. "

" I love him, " said Craig as he scribbled his name and mobile number on
the proffered pad. " But now he'll never know, "

He hurried out of the unit and down the stairs, desperate to get away
from the smell of illness and death.

Outside in the carpark Craig looked back at the forbidding edifice of
the hospital.

" We never had a chance, did we Luke? " he said aloud.

At that moment the heavens opened, drenching everything in sight, and
masking Craig Gilmore's tears as he made his way back to his car.

The End

8/6/03

===== 'Out of the crooked tree of humanity no straight thing can ever be
made'  Immanuel Kant.

*~*~*~*

Out Of The Blue. Britfic. http://www.rose-tinted.net/eggbert