NOT UNLESS YOU MEAN IT

Author:     Eggbert
E-mail:     mbejane2000@yahoo.com
Rating:     NC-17. For obvious reasons.
Summary:    Des and Reg's first time.
Spoilers:   For the Sun Hill fire story arc, otherwise
            none.

Disclaimer: If they were mine, this would have
            happened already.

Dedicated to Ines who couldn't believe I would write
this, to kel for obvious reasons and to everyone who
wanted more of Des and Reg from me.



Reg Hollis couldn't sleep. He doubted if any of the
Sun Hill relief were getting much rest these days and
tomorrow, the memorial service for those who had died
in the fire, would bring back all the bad memories.
Not that they had had much time to fade. Sighing, Reg
climbed out of bed and switched the light on. He
pulled his dressing gown on over his pyjamas for even
though the weather was lovely for the time of year;
Reg just couldn't keep warm. He walked over to where
his train set stood and switched on the transformer.
It hummed as it warmed up and Reg gently touched the
controls watching as his model of the Flying Scotsman
nosed its way along the track past a forest of
lovingly hand-painted trees.

The fire wasn't all that was bothering him. In the
privacy of his own room he could allow his thoughts
free rein. He was worried about Des. Des seemed to be
taking it worse than anyone and he hadn't lost anyone
close, not like Nick and Cass. Reg wished he knew how
to comfort him. Reg had got to his late forties
untroubled by love and all its ensuing messiness. He
had come to the conclusion that he was asexual. That
was until a large chunk of Liverpudlian bad attitude
had landed at Sun Hill with the same effect on Reg's
hormones as a gale in a windchime factory. But Des was
straight, a womaniser at that, a bigot and a gambler who
drank far too much. Yet every time he touched Reg, Reg
felt he could forgive him anything as long as he didn't
stop.

Reg looked at his train set. He needed more than this
to be soothed. What, in his heart of hearts, he wanted
to hear from under his duvet was a voice yelling.

" For fuck's sake, Reggie babe. Switch that thing off
and come back to bed, will you? "



*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reg managed to get though the next shift but with
difficulty. He and all the others who had drawn the
short straw and were on duty were all too aware of the
memorial service going on without them. In a way Reg
was pleased he was missing it. Sometimes you had to
say your goodbyes in your own time.

When he got home there was a light blinking on his
answering machine. He pressed the //play// button.

" Reggie babe, its Des. I'm in the Cat and Fiddle in
Roxburgh Street. Come for a drink, mate. I don't
really want to be on my own. "

Reg switched the machine off and went upstairs for a
shower. He knew when he was needed.

When he got there he spotted Des immediately, propping
up the bar, a line of empty short glasses lined up in
front of him. As if drawn by telepathy, Des turned his
head and smiled at Reg.

" I didn't know if you'd come, " he said, relief
written all over his face.

" That's what mates are for, Des. "

" What're you 'aving, then? "

" Pint of lager, please. "

They collected their drinks and found a seat in a
darkened corner. The minute they sat Des put his arm
around Reg's shoulder.

" So what was it like? " Reg asked, sipping at his
beer.

" Fucking horrible, " said Des flatly. " Such a
fucking waste, Reg. "

Reg nodded his agreement.

Des felt even gloomier. He was the worst hypocrite in
the world, marching down the aisle of the church,
carrying the banner of the Metropolitan Police aloft,
dressed in his finest uniform when it was his fault
that it had happened in the first place.

" Hey, come on. " said Reg. " You didn't ask me here
to get you even more depressed, did you? Let's talk
about something more cheerful, eh? "

They did. Liverpool's dismal performance that year got
them through another three rounds, politics another
two and the lighter side of the job another one.

" See, " slurred Des. " I reckon Gilmore fancies Luke
Ashton. Have you watched him? Can't keep his eyes off
the poor bleeder. "

Reg laughed. He had already drunk far more than was
good for him but the relentless pressure of Des's
thigh against his under the table and the fact that
Des seemed in no hurry to remove his arm from Reg's
shoulders made him wish this day could go on forever.

" Just because he's gay doesn't mean he's going to
start fancying any pretty boy in uniform. ""said Reg
firmly. ""He'' //got// a boyfriend. He lives with him.
Sean he's called. Something big in computers. "

Des glared at him, and Reg noticed the shadows under
his eyes and how bloodshot they were. It seemed Des
and sleep were mutually exclusive these days as well.

" You know a hell of a lot about the Welsh wizard,
Reggie babe. Fancy him, do you? "

" Don't be ridiculous! " snapped Reg.

" Only kidding, " said Des. He stood up and extracted
a twenty-pound note from his wallet. " I'm going for a
slash. Get the beer in Reg. "

Des made his way unsteadily to the toilets and Reg
made his way even more unsteadily to the bar. He
caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and
grimaced. A neat, middle-aged man in a green polo
shirt and jeans yet his eyes were gleaming and his
skin was flushed pink.

" Why don't I just get, 'Take me, I'm Yours' tattooed
on my forehead. I doubt even Des would miss it. " he
muttered.

" Sorry? " said the barman and Reg blushed. He was
drunker than he thought if he was speaking his
thoughts out loud.

" Same again, please, " he said.

Des leaned his burning forehead against the mirror in
the toilets and fought off a wave of completely
unreasonable jealousy. Reg couldn't possibly fancy
Gilmore, could he? Yet he seemed to know a hell of a
lot more about the man than he should. And they seemed
quite friendly...

" He's not 'aving yer, Reg. No way. " muttered Des.

There were a number of secrets Des planned to take to
the grave. The fact that he had thrown the firebomb
into Sun Hill was one, his bisexuality was another.
His plans for Reg had always been long-range; he could
sense the growing attraction between them and planned
to act on it. Eventually.

" Looks like eventually's finally arrived, " he said.
He splashed his face with cold water and made his way
to the door. The vending machine in the corner caught
his eye. In the pocket of his jeans he found a couple
of pound coins and fed them into the slot. Just in
case.

Back in his seat he slid his arm round Reg again and
picked up his glass. Unconsciously he began to caress
the soft skin of Reg's neck and felt Reg go rigid.

" Will you stop that!" hissed Reg. Des almost dropped
his glass in surprise.

Reg had had enough. He had spent the day getting more
and more turned on by Des's careless touches and
couldn't bear the thought of returning home alone with
only his right hand for company.

" What's up? " asked Des.

" Stop touching me! " snarled Reg.

" But I always..."

" That's the fucking problem. You always do it and you
have no fucking //idea// what it does to me. So stop
it. I don't want you to lay another finger on me. Not
unless you mean it. "

" Reg, " said Des, faint alarm breaking thought he
comforting haze of alcohol. " Calm down, will yer? "

" I've always been calm. You're nothing but a bloody
prick tease. Now unless you want to make good on your
innuendo, leave me alone!"

Des was stunned. Reg //never// lost his temper, not
ever. It was like being attacked by a pet rabbit.

Eventually was definitely here. Des placed his hand on
the back of Reg's head and drew him to within kissing
distance.

" I never make promises I can't keep. " said Des
solemnly and sealed Reg's lips with his. In a haze he
felt Reg's arms slide timidly round him and their
bodies press close as the toe-curling snog continued.
Dizzy and breathless they broke apart to an ironic
round of applause from the barman.

" Let's go, " whispered Des.

" Where? "

" My place. It's just around the corner. "

Reg nodded and struggled into his jacket.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Des's front door had barely closed behind them when
they were on each other again. Thirty-odd years of
frustration were building up inside Reg, making him
ache with longing.

Des steered him into the bedroom. Drunk as he was, Reg
couldn't help noticing that this was a room for making
love in, not for sleeping. The bed was made up with
what looked like silk sheets and the mirrors were
strategically placed so nothing could be hidden.

Des undressed him with long-practised ease and pushed
him down onto the bed, rapidly shedding his own
clothes.

Reg, aware of his skinny frame, tried to hide under
the covers but Des was having none of it. He swept
them off the bed onto the floor and climbed onto the
bed.

" I want to see all of you, Reg," he murmured.

Reg was certainly seeing all of Des, intrigued by the
beauty of his friend's body he watched in the mirror
as Des held him close and began to caress him.

Reg was soon lying flat as Des kissed him all over, a
glorious tongue bath that made Reg cry out with
pleasure and when he felt Des's mouth slide over the
head of his weeping erection he could take no more and
came with a howl of ecstasy. Des licked him clean with
broad swipes of his tongue and held Reg to him.

" Sorry, " muttered Reg.

" What for? " asked Des.

" No one's ever...it was too much..."

Des smiled.

" Are you trying to tell me you've never had a blow
job before? "

Blushing furiously, Reg nodded.

" I've never had much of anything before, as it goes.
"

" Poor Reg, " murmured Des. " Are you sure you still
want me to carry on? I don't want to hurt you. "

"Please, " moaned Reg, reaching down to stroke Des's
aching hardness. " If I feel you inside me I'll know
I'm not dreaming. "

Gently Des prepared him, taking his time, ensuring Reg
was more than ready for him. He put on the condom and
eased his way slowly into Reg's body.

Reg bit his lip at the bright flare of pain as Des
entered him. He looked up into Des's face and realised
he could put up with anything if it brought that
half-pained, half-ecstatic expression to Des's face.
He'd never seen anything so beautiful.

Des angled himself and began to thrust gently into
Reg. No reaction. He shifted slightly and tried again.
Reg gasped, his eyes widening as Des found his
prostate. Perfect. Des continued his long, slow
thrusts, reaching down between their sandwiched bodies
to stroke Reg to orgasm again. Not until he heard
Reg's cries did he allow the tightly coiled spring of
his own climax to unravel, pouring all his affection
and love for the man beneath him deep inside him.

Slowly he eased out of Reg and collapsed beside him.
He dropped the used condom at the bedside and wrapped
his arms tightly around Reg, drawing him close.

He realised he was completely exhausted and closed his
eyes, wrapped in the feel and smell of Reg he felt
secure and he knew Reg would be there in the morning.

== end