Title:  The Great Unknown
Author: Claire
Rating:  G, Humour, *fluff*
Pairing: Skase / Boulton
Disclaimers: Thankfully they are not mine.  I doubt I could handle it.

Comments:

This... *this* is what happens when Kel suggests that there is UST between
Boulton and Hollis.

I accept **no** responsibility for this at all...    It's her fault, not
mine... 

= = = = = = = = = = =
The Great Unknown
= = = = = = = = = = =

"John?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

  "The answer's no."

"Huh?  Why can't I ask you a question?"

"I didn't say you couldn't ask me a question, I was simply giving a
pre-emptive answer."

"Oh..."   "How do you know what I was going to ask?"

"I don't, but I can hazard a guess and, no, I most definitely do not want to
play Batman with you."

"That wasn't what I was going to ask you."

"No?"

"No."

"Okay then, I'll try again...  If you're thinking what I hope you are thinking
then just give me a few minutes to recover and I'll consider it."

"I'm not thinking that either.  Mind you, it's not a bad idea...  You'd
never guess what I was going to ask you.  Never!"

  "Okay, Rod, put me out of my misery.  What do you want to ask me?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"Rod..."   "Ask me the Goddamn question or I am going to kill you."

"There's no need to be like that."

"Oh, I think there is.  Now, ask!"

"Fine...  Do you think Reg Hollis has a sex life?"

  "Excuse me?"

"More to the point, do you think he's ever had sex?"

  "I really worry about you sometimes, Rod."

"Come on...  It's a reasonable question."

"Yeah, right.  Maybe if you are as sad and pathetic as Reg is it is a
reasonable question.  Can I ask why on earth you felt you had to ask me
that?"

"I've been thinking about it a lot lately."

"What?"

"Well...  It's beyond me how someone like Reg could ever score and I'm curious
to know whether he ever has."

"And you ask me?"

"Who else am I going to ask?  Besides, you're here..."

"Thanks for that."

"What?"

"Nothing.  If you want to think of me and then think of Reg then that it
just fine by me..."

"Are you tetchy?"

"No...  Not at all...  Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Dunno...  Anyway...  I reckon that even Luke Ashton would have had sex at least
once, but Reg?  I just don't know about..."

"Why do you even want to know about this, Rod?  I don't get it."

"Well, it's kinda interesting, innit?  Maybe he's into porn and that's how
he gets his kicks."

"Thanks for that...  I know have a exceptionally unwelcome mental picture of
Reg wearing a dirty mackintosh and carrying a brown paper newsagents bag."

"Ah!  You're getting into the swing of things now!"

"I most definitely am not!"

"Suit yourself.  Perhaps he gets off on those trains of his?"

"Rod...  Just *don't*.  I've heard enough."

"Ha!  I know!  Maybe those train magazines have centrefolds...  There's a
thought.  Nothing like a steam train to get you in the mood.  Or!  Or!  What
about train videos?  All those trains pumping steam?  That has to be it!"

"Rod, will you just shut it?"

"No need to get so irate.  I was only asking for your benefit anyway."

"Pardon?"

"Well, you know how he's been looking at you lately..."

"*Don't*"

"But he *has*.  He's always looking at you and well, I was just thinking
that maybe he fancies you or something..."

"I think I've told you this before, it doesn't pay you to think."

"Hang on a minute, I think there's something to what I'm saying..."  
"Why have you buried your head under the pillow?"

(inaudible)

"I didn't quite catch that...  There!  That's better.  You would have
suffocated if you stayed under there."

  "I said, 'holy hole in a donut Batman'."

"Eh?"

"I've changed my mind.  I want to play Batman with you."

  "You do?  What's changed your mind?"

"At this exact point in time I would do anything to get you to change your
current course of questioning..."

~end~