Don't ask... Just don't ask... Against my better judgement (which, contrary topopular opinion, I do possess - somewhere...) the urge to attempt this got the better of me. I don't recommend eating whilst reading the third one... Trust me on this... Honestly, I hate challenges... Anyone else want to give it a go?? Come on. I'm sure you can all do better than me... (Lets face it, it wouldn't take much... ) Oh yeah, one last thing... These are allegedly humorous... Ciao Claire ===================== Communication Difficulties ===================== Modem? Yep. Installed, and the provider has assured him that everything is running smoothly. Mobile phones? Yep. Both analogue and digital fully charged. Bills paid. Pager? Yep. Clipped to his belt, vibrating function on. Fax Machine? Yep. Toner changed, paper tray full. Home phone? Yep. Connected and within easy reach. What was that stupid old saying about a watched pot never boils? Perhaps it is true for phones too he thinks - a watched phone never rings. 'Ring, Ring' About bloody time. "You've reached Mat Boyden, AKA 'The Sex Machine'." "Er... Sorry mate. Wrong number." Bollocks! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ====== Adonis ====== What a specimen. He was simply too gorgeous for words. Tall, tanned and absolutely perfect in every way. Even Reg wouldn't have been able to fault him, George thought as he attempted to combat the urge to drool. Smooth, absolutely hairless chest that was toned in all the right places. Beautiful brown nipples that were already hard. And what a cock! A thing of dream worthy wonder. No wonder he had no qualms about standing around naked. An dim echo of doubt entered George's mind as he slipped out of his clothes. 'Hope I don't stain the page...' ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ======= Hierarchy ======= "I want you." "Here?" "Right here, right now." "I... uh... don't know about that." [pout] "You don't want me?" "Of *course* I want you. I'm just not sure of the location." "Come on... Live a little. Don't be such an old fuddy duddy..." "I just don't know... ah!... that isn't going to work you know..." "No? Are you sure?" [gasp] "Yes... I'm... oooh... you know full well I can't resist it when you do that." "So, I win?" "As usual." "You won't be sorry." "But Charles, what if Marion walks in?" "You know she always knocks, Derek..." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ===== Truth ===== Admittedly some of the theories were pretty good. Damn imaginative in fact. Dave thought his favourite would have to be that he ran away to join Greenpeace. Mind you, being sucked into a brain washing cult was special as well. There was no end to the theories. Gambling debts, being on the take, depressed, unbalanced, sick to death of having to deal with Reg every day, never fully recovering from encountering George in the shower... Truth could be stranger than fiction sometimes. The real reason Steve left Sun Hill? He'd seen a copy of the Twanky script.